11 Ways to avoid being a woman’s rebound guy
Being the rebound guy isn’t fun because she’s using you to get over a break up and her feelings for you are superficial. If you want a real relationship that’s about genuine love then don’t let her fool you with relationship quotes or emotional manipulation.
1) Set emotional boundaries if you don’t want to be the rebound
You need to set emotional boundaries when you’re starting a new relationship, especially if your new girlfriend is still dealing with a recent break up. This will stop you from falling in love too quickly and ending up in a relationship where she doesn’t feel the same for you. By doing this at the beginning of the relationship you’re letting her know that you want to take things slow and build a real relationship. This will also lessen the chances of you getting hurt if she decides that you’re not the type of guy she’s looking for.
2) Don’t be her only support system
If you’re her only support system then she’s going to rely on you and will only date you because she feels like she needs you. After a break up she’s going to feel lonely or needy and will latch on to you as a way of trying to make herself feel better but that’s not healthy. She needs to deal with her feelings and she can’t rely on you for that because you don’t know her that well. You can be supportive but you should also encourage her to talk to her friends because they’ll be able to help her more.
3) Set personal boundaries
You need to be careful about enforcing your boundaries because you don’t want them to think you’re rude or not really interested in them so tell them that you’re like them but that you want to take things slow. This lets them know that you’re taking the relationship seriously and that they need to do so as well.
4) Don’t always be there when she wants you
Relationship quotes like “I love you.” or “We were meant to be together.” should only be used once you’ve dated for a long time and are sure about your feelings. This is because she’s going to expect you to be there for her and if you haven’t established a real connection then it’s going to be a one-sided relationship where you look after her. It’s exciting dating someone new but you need to resist the urge to spend all of your time with her and constantly checking your phone for messages because you might fall for her too quickly and you’ll end up getting your heart broken.
5) Remember their ex isn’t your business
After a break up it’s natural to think about your ex but you shouldn’t talk about them when you’re dating someone new. If she keeps talking about her ex then it means she’s missing him and might want to get back together with him which means dumping you. To avoid being the rebound guy you need to show her that you’re dating material and you can do this by showing her what a great guy you are. Make her laugh, be attentive and keep her attention on you so that she forgets about her ex.
6) Focus on your needs and wants
When a woman’s on the rebound she’s going to put her needs first because she’s still dealing with a break up and isn’t completely focused on her new relationship. You need to focus on your needs and wants at the start of the relationship so you’re not blindsided by her using you as a rebound because staying focused on yourself will stop you from getting lost in love and keep things going in the right direction. Make a list of what you want out of the relationship, whether it’s a friends with benefits situation or something serious, and be resolved to break up with her if she wants something different.
7) Notice how they treat you
Pay attention to how she treats you because if she starts treating you like the rebound guy then you can gently let her know that you think she’s not fully invested in the relationship. This might make her realize what she’s doing and change her behaviour. Habits that you shouldn’t tolerate include her wanting all of your attention, making it just about sex and using you as emotional support as she deals with her break up.
8) Define the type of relationship
You need to make it clear at the beginning what type of relationship you’re looking for so that she doesn’t misunderstand anything. This will ensure that both of you are on the same page and no one gets hurt if the relationship doesn’t turn out like they expected. If you think she’s looking for rebound sex then it might be a good idea for you to go into the relationship by looking at it as a hookup. This way you know it’s a fling and you won’t get hurt when she moves on.
9) Don’t easily make them a part of your life
You don’t want to rush into a relationship and make her a part of your life because you don’t know how much effort she’ll make with you. You need to have your own life and slowly bring them into it so that she doesn’t just use you and move on when she feels like it. To keep your independence while dating you need to take things slow and still keep an active social life where you do things without her.
10) Listen to your instincts
Don’t listen to relationship quotes that she tells you because you need to think logically and trust your instincts instead of getting blinded by love. Pay attention to the way she acts and treats you because you’ll notice the difference between her and past girlfriends. If your instinct is telling you that she’s still in love with her ex or is only after a way to get over a broken heart then you need to listen to yourself and do something about it.
11) Don’t try to fix her
She’s going to be feeling heartbroken if her break up was recent and you might be the type of guy who likes to look after people and try to fix them. You can’t be this way with her because that’s a definite sign of being the rebound guy. If you feel like she’s not ready to date then gently tell her that you like her but don’t want to rush into a new relationship or act like a regular boyfriend and don’t get involved in her drama with the ex.
She is working as writer for diferent websites. She has published many hand-books about adult dating and relationships.
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