8 Surprising ways to communicate better in relationships
Communication is one of the most important things in relationships because without it there’s a lack of understanding and empathy which leads to fighting and breaking up. You might know the usual ways of communicating with your partner but there are some ways that may be surprising to you because you haven’t thought of them before. You can learn what they are and try incorporating them into your relationships so communication between you and your partner will be the best it’s ever been.
1) Show empathy for their frustrations
When your partner is expressing their frustrations to you need to do more than just listen or act supportive, you also need to show empathy. Your partner wants to feel like you care about what they’re going through so show them empathy and make it clear their problems affect you too. You can show empathy by using facial expressions to express yourself, comforting them by holding their hand or putting your arm around them and telling them that you know they’re upset and that you’ll help them if you can. Saying that you understand what they’re going through and listening without judgement will go a long way to showing them empathy. This builds trust between the two of you and they’ll be more likely to talk to you about problems instead of ignoring them until things get worse.
2) Listen carefully and remember what they say
When you’re talking to someone you should listen carefully and remember what they say because it could be important to them. You want to be able to give them helpful comments or show support in the right way and you can’t do that if you don’t know what’s going on. Pay close attention and make references to what they’ve said so they know you were listening to them and if you feel like they’re not really listening to you, you can gently tell them that you know they’re not paying attention and that it hurts your feelings so they can adjust the way they communicate with you.
3) Do a complicated task together
Doing a complicated task together, like going to an escape room activity or doing a scavenger hunt, will help you learn how to work together and communicate effectively. You’ll have to solve things together which means you’ll have to learn how to convey ideas effectively and be patient when you don’t understand something. This can help improve communication between the two of you because you’ll learn how to talk in a way that’s clear and gets your point across. It’s important that you choose a fun task because you don’t want it to be a stressful experience, it should be something that you look back on with happiness and see that you can work well as a team if you just communicate properly.
4) Don’t just listen, ask questions
Communication is mainly two parts, listening and responding but just saying what you think is the right thing to say isn’t what you should automatically do. You need to have in depth conversations and to do that you need to ask questions. When your partner is talking to you, make an effort to ask questions about it to show that you’re interested in what they have to say and get a better understanding of it. You might feel like you’re dominating the conversation by asking too many questions so limit yourself to a couple and see where things lead to. You could end up having a completely different but still valuable conversation or seeing a new side to your partner.
5) Use different methods of communicating
There are many different methods of communicating so don’t rely on talking as your main one. You can also use writing or body language to bring yourself closer to your partner or to show them what you’re thinking or feeling. To keep communicating when they’re at work you can send them a quick text to cheer them up on their lunch break and when you’re at home but not in the mood to talk you can communicate that you’re happy to be spending the night with them by snuggling on the couch or giving them a back rub.
6) Learn from past relationships
Think carefully about what you could have done differently or what could have made communicating easier then talk to your current partner about what you’ve realized. Tell them that you don’t want to make the same mistake with them and share what you’ve learned so they know you’re serious about wanting to improve things. Ask them to come up with some ways of improving communication from their own past mistakes and start trying new ways of talking to each other so your relationship goes smoother.
7) Show more love and affection
Showing more love and affection can improve your communication skills because your using non-verbal gestures to express yourself. These gestures can also improve intimacy because your showing your feelings more often and re-igniting the spark between the two of you. This can be a good way to make it clear what you’re feeling if you’re not good at talking openly about your emotions. You can show a variety of emotions from affection to lust by doing things like smiling, kissing, cuddling and touching. By showing more affection to your partner you’re increasing the level of intimacy which makes both of you more likely to confide in each other.
8) Talk in the moment
One way to communicate better in relationships is by talking about things as they happen instead of ignoring it then having to deal with it later on. Avoidance usually happens with difficult subjects and these are the things that tend to get worse over time so you need to carefully deal with it at the right time and in the right way. When your partner says or does something that bothers you, you need to talk about it as soon as it happens. You don’t want to come across as too aggressive so to seem like you’re not that mad at them you can gently tell them what’s bothering you and start the discussion that way. This stops problems from turning into a major issue and you’ll learn how to talk through difficult moments without things escalating.
She is working as writer for diferent websites. She has published many hand-books about adult dating and relationships.
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