8 Ways to know if you should be more than friends with benefits
A friends with benefits situation is supposed to be straightforward: you have sex but feelings never get involved because this isn’t a dating situation , although you can use adult dating sites like adult friend finder. It always starts out that way but as you get to know each other and feelings go beyond sexual attraction then there’s a possibility that your friends with benefits situation may be turning into something more serious. To know if this is what’s happening with you there are a few ways to figure things out and see where you stand.
1) The sexual attraction is strong
A friends with benefits situation has sexual attraction but because of the casual nature of your relationship it tends to be more relaxed. When it gets to the point where you should be more than that the sexual attraction is strong and they’re the only person you want. You won’t even consider having sex with anyone else because you feel like it would be cheating. The sexual energy between the two of you is intense and you can’t wait to see them again when you’ve spent some time apart. You want them in a way that goes beyond a casual relationship and it’s just a matter of time before you want something more serious so you can feel confident knowing that you can have them as much as you want.
2) They’re all you think about
When your friends with benefits you enjoy spending time together but don’t miss them when they’re not around because you’re not emotionally invested in the relationship. If they’re all you think about then it’s a sign that your feelings for them are deep and you’re falling in love with them. This is going to be distracting and you’ll find yourself thinking about them when you should be focused on more important things like work, driving or doing household chores. They’re becoming a big part of your life and you can’t stop thinking about them because your mind is trying to tell you to listen to your heart and take the relationship to the next level.
3) You daydream about being a couple
Daydreaming about being a couple and wishing you can do things with them that you’ve done in past relationships means being friends with benefits is no longer enough for you. Keeping things casual isn’t satisfying to you because you’ve gotten to know each other and you can see yourself dating them. You’ll try to move past being friends with benefits and ease into dating by doing things that a couple would because it’s your way of seeing if they feel the same way about you. You’ll go out on dates without acknowledging that’s what they are, send them texts just to say “Hi.” or to see how they’re doing and start thinking of them as your partner because that’s what you really want.
4) Your feelings have changed over time
You’ll notice that your feelings have changed over time if you want to be more than friends with benefits. At the beginning of being friends with benefits you’ll feel excited and looking forward to sex but not much else because you know that’s what expected from them and when you’re ready to be in a committed relationship you’ll care more about the person and yearn for a more permanent relationship. What you wanted at the beginning has lost it’s appeal and you’ll be conflicted about continuing being friends with benefits or taking a chance by seeing if they’re interested in dating you.
5) You know each other well
There’s an emotional and intellectual distance when you’re friends with benefits because you don’t see it as a real relationship. You know it’ll be over soon and both of you will move on when you meet someone new but when a part of you wants something more you’ll unconsciously get to know each other better. You’ll take an interest in them as a person and make an effort to get to know their likes, dislikes, hobbies, dreams and goals. You’ll get closer to them and the bond between you will get stronger until you realize that you know them as well as you would a life partner.
6) It’s more than sexual attraction
It’s definitely more than friends with benefits between the two of you if there’s more than sexual attraction because sex is the whole basis of what’s going on. When you start spending time with them doing other things, like hanging out or having meaningful conversations then things are starting to change. The dynamics between you are slowly becoming like a couple’s and the relationship is naturally progressing to a serious one. If both of you are okay with this or are open to seeing where things go then keep doing what you’re doing and find out if being more than friends with benefits is the right direction to take.
7) There are special moments
These special moments are small things like feeling your heart flutter when you see them, making eye contact and blushing or feeling a rush when your hand accidentally brushes against theirs. There’s a feeling of recognition in the other person when these moments happen and you know they feel them too. These moments will keep happening and become more frequent unless you end the friends with benefits situation or talk to them and establish a romantic relationship with them.
8) You’ve lost interest in dating
You might think you’re okay with just being friends with benefits but if you lose interest in dating while doing this then it means what you really want is more. You’re supposed to be easily getting your sexual needs met without commitment but still dating when you feel a sexual attraction towards someone. If you don’t want anyone else at all and your friends with benefits partner is what you want then it means you’re happy being with them and they fulfill your wants and needs. They’re no longer just a casual relationship to you and when you think about dating someone else your mind always goes back to them. You need to admit you want more because you’ll end up single while they move on because they won’t know how you feel about them.
She is working as writer for diferent websites. She has published many hand-books about adult dating and relationships.
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