8 Unrealistic expectations that could destroy your relationship
It doesn’t matter how much you’re in love with your partner and how well things are going if you have unrealistic expectations because these will always derail a relationship. You have to accept that passion will fade over time, your admiration for each other may change with circumstances and no relationship is perfect. If you can let go of unrealistic expectations you’ll be better prepared to deal with things when they happen and your relationship will grow stronger instead of weaker.
1) Passion will always be strong
At the beginning of a relationship the passion you feel towards each other is strong and you think that it will always be this way but that’s one of those unrealistic expectations that will eventually make you doubt your love. Passion will fade as you settle into your relationship because you’re getting to know each other and that makes you feel more comfortable and safe. This can lead to things slowing down in the bedroom and if you constantly expect passion then you’re going to get upset or feel unloved when it’s not there. You need to remember that passion will ebb and flow and that it doesn’t mean the love is gone.
2) Your partner won’t change
Unrealistic expectations like thinking your partner will never change or that they’ll always live up to your idea of them will lead to disappoint so you need to avoid doing this. It’s natural for people to change over time and when you’ve been with someone for a long time they may be different to when you first started dating. You have to learn to go with these changes because you’re changing too and it’s not fair to expect them to not grow as a person. If it really bothers you then you need to have an honest and calm talk with them so you can deal with it together and find a way to make it be a positive part of your relationship.
3) You’ll always be their priority
Couples who are at the beginning of their relationship will have unrealistic expectations of the role they play in their partner’s life and think they’ll always come first. When they realize that that isn’t always the case they get upset and their jealousy could get out of control to the point where they break up because they can’t stand not being the center of attention in the relationship. You should be a priority to your partner but there may be other people, like their parents or children, who will come before you and you need to respect that. A relationship is give and take and wanting non-stop attention or being treated like the only person in your partner’s life are unrealistic expectations that you need to let go of.
4) You’ll always be in love
People grow up with unrealistic expectations of being in a relationship and think they’ll always be in love and everything will be perfect as you spend your life together. Passion and love will come and go and you can break up as soon as that happens because this is something that you need to work through to get things back on track. There will be times when you fight with your partner or miss being single and you need to think about why you’re with your partner so you have motivation to stay together. You respect and admiration for them should still be strong and by reminding yourself of their good qualities and why you fell in love in the first place you can renew your passion and love for them.
5) Neither of you will desire anyone else
No matter how much love and admiration you have for each other it is possible that one of you may feel desire for someone else. Monogamy and keeping your sexual desire for only your partner are unrealistic expectations that lead to many break ups. There will be times when you or your partner have a crush on someone else and cheating may happen. There are lots of people in the world and a stir of emotions for someone is something you can’t control but you can control your actions. Instead of rushing into breaking up you need to work with your partner to see if the relationship is worth saving and accept that it’s not natural to reserve your desire for only one person, even if nothing sexual happens.
6) It’s the two of you against the world
The idea that you’ll be spending your life with your partner and it’s the two of you against the world are unrealistic expectations that will put pressure on both of you to make things work so you don’t feel like you’ve failed. You’ll do everything together and get frustrated when you realize your partner isn’t everything you need. There will be times when you have a problem that your partner can’t help you with or you’ll feel more comfortable talking to a friend about and that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with your relationship. It just means that they’re not the right person to rely on and that someone is better equipped to give you what you need.
7) You partner will always understand you
Having your partner always understand you and know exactly what you want or mean are unrealistic expectations that will lead to fighting and putting an emotional distance between the two of you. This is an idea you need to let go of, especially if you’re the type of person who struggles with talking about feelings. Your partner may do something that annoys you without knowing it or ask you what’s wrong when you think they should know what’s bothering you and you’ll get upset because you think they do understand you as well as they should. If you want your partner to understand you then you need to spend time communicating with each other and let them know when they overlook something.
8) You’ll want the same things out of life
Assuming that your partner wants the same things out of life as you do just because you have common interests are one of those unrealistic expectations that can make you lose admiration for your partner because you feel deceived when you find out that they have other ideas. This is why it’s important to talk about where you see your relationship and your life heading so the two of you can be on the same page and there’s no surprises when one of you wants to move, change careers or start a family
She is working as writer for diferent websites. She has published many hand-books about adult dating and relationships.
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