8 Ways to reduce first date jitters
It’s normal to have first date jitters because you’re spending time with someone you don’t know and you want the night to be a success. Nervousness will fill you and this can cause you to make a bad first impression because you’ll be fidgety and she’ll be able to pick up on your body language. You can deal with these first date jitters instead of letting them take over you by practicing a couple of helpful habits, like not having unrealistic expectations for how things will go and learning how to calm yourself down. A few simple changes can make a big difference to how the night will go.
1) Don’t have unrealistic expectations
You’re setting yourself up for a big dose of jitters if you have unrealistic expectations for the first date, from how they’ll look and act in person, how strong the two of you will click and to how smoothly the night will go. Think about other first dates you’ve been on and expect that things with this person will go a similar way. There’s a good chance that it’s not going to be love at first and there’s going to be a couple of awkward moments as you get to know each other but that’s to be expected. Take a balanced view of how things are probably going to go and hope for the best but don’t get upset if your dream date doesn’t come true.
2) Take time to look after yourself
Taking time to look after yourself can help reduce your jitters because you’ll have more confidence in yourself. You can do small things like getting a haircut or buying a new outfit or make a bigger commitment like starting an exercise routine to get in shape or learning how to be more successful at dating. These activities will increase your self-confidence and sex appeal so you’ll go to the first date knowing you’re at your best and that your good looks or positive attitude may increase their attraction towards you.
3) Have the first date someplace familiar
Going to a new place, no matter the occasion, can cause jitters because you’re not sure of what to expect and more things can go wrong. This is why it’s a good idea to have your first date at a place you’re familiar with, like a local movie theatre or restaurant. Familiarity can stop unrealistic expectations from happening because you know you way around, you may know a couple of people who work there and if it’s a restaurant you’ll know what to order. This makes you feel prepared and confident which is how you want to be during a moment like this and it’s easier for you to decide what to do next.
4) Don’t rush before meeting them
Leaving things to the last minute is stressful so make sure you give yourself plenty of time to get ready and leave before the first date. Make a list of all the things you need to do; any household chores or errands so you’re not thinking about them during the date, picking out what to wear, figuring out how much time it’s going to take for you to get to your destination and find out if there’s any traffic problems that can cause you to be late. You’re going to have an idea of how much time all of this will take and can plan accordingly so you can stay on schedule. You’re not going to feel rushed and will arrive feeling at calm and collected which will help you start the night on the right foot.
5) Have conversation topics ready
Pick out a couple of conversation topics before you arrive and make sure they’re not controversial ones like politics or religion. You should also talk about topics you’re familiar with so you can uphold your end of the conversation. Topics that are safe to talk about and help you get to know each other can include the last movie you saw, any pets that you have or hobbies that you do in your spare time.
6) Don’t try to impress them
Trying to impress your date is going to increase your anxiety because you’re putting all of your effort and concentration into being someone you’re not. You’re going to second-guess everything you do and wonder if they’re buying your act which stops you from noticing what’s really going on. You won’t be able to keep up the facade and stay involved in the date which is going to make your jitters worse. They should have an idea of what you’re like from when they first saw you if you met in a public place or from messages you’ve sent if you met online and this is what they’re expecting. Show them who you are because that’s familiar to you and what to say or do will come more naturally to you.
7) Think of it as no big deal
Building up the first date in your mind is going to cause you to think about all the things that can go wrong and be determined to make certain things happen so it ends up being perfect. You know that a bad first date will be difficult to deal with and that afterwards you’re going to be in a slump so you need to stop this kind of thinking. You should approach the date like it isn’t a big deal and remember that there will be lots of other dates in your future.
8) Remember they have first date jitters too
Everybody has first date jitters because they’re meeting a stranger and hoping things go well. All of the worries and thoughts you’ve had are ones that they’ve had as well. The two of you are experiencing very similar thoughts and feelings so you don’t need to think that you’re going through this alone. Push away your fears and try to help them with theirs by being friendly, laid-back and making an effort to keep things going smoothly. Focusing your attention on them will distract you and you’ll ease into the date without realizing it.
She is working as writer for diferent websites. She has published many hand-books about adult dating and relationships.
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