10 Ways to know if your partner is demisexual or she is not really into you
People who are demisexual find it difficult to be sexually attracted to someone when there’s no emotional connection and they take things slowly when they’re in a relationship. If you’re not familiar with the characteristics of someone who is demisexual and your girlfriend is this type of person then you may think she’s not really into you when the truth is she wants to date you. If you’re unsure of how your girlfriend feels about you, you can learn what signs to look for and pay attention to how she acts with you to decide how if you need to talk to her and work on the relationship or if you should break up with her.
1) The first date is all about you
When you’re on a first date with a demisexual you’re going to notice that it’s all about you. They’re going to give you their undivided attention and will ask lots of questions because they want to know more about you. They want to see the kind of person you are so they can decide if you’re someone they can form a bond with and be in a serious relationship with.
2) She wants love before having sex
A demisexual wants love before having sex because they need that feeling in order to get aroused and your partner is going to take things slowly because she needs time to fall in love with you. She’s going to spend quality time with you and work on being in a healthy, supportive relationship. If she’s not really into you she’s going to avoid having sex because she’s no longer attracted to you and is going to pull away from you which is the opposite of how a demisexual will be behaving.
3) She tries to find a connection
Your partner is going to make an effort and try to find a connection with you if she really likes you because she wants to make the relationship work. This takes time, thoughtfulness and effort which she wouldn’t do if her feelings for you weren’t strong. She’s going to see what you have in common and will do things like engage in your favourite hobby with you or watch your favourite TV shows or movies and get to know your friends.
4) She mentions taking things slowly
If it’s your first date she may not be comfortable telling you that she’s demisexual and will drop hints because she’s hoping you’ll realize she’s attracted to you and her lack of sexual interest doesn’t mean she has no real desire to date you. She doesn’t want you to get the wrong idea so she’s going to make it clear that she likes you by being friendly on the date but she’s also going to tell you that she likes to take things slowly and not rush into a relationship.
5) She knows a lot about sexual orientations
Being demisexual isn’t a well known sexual orientation like being straight or gay so it takes time for people who identify this way to understand what they are. This takes time to sort through thoughts and feelings as well as learning about different sexual orientations. If your partner knows a lot about sexual orientations then there’s a reason for it and she may identify as demisexual if she isn’t as interested in sex as much as your exes were.
6) She doesn’t get excited about having sex
Since it’s difficult for a demisexual to be sexually attracted without feeling an emotional connection it’s going to be harder for her to get excited about sex. You’re probably going to be thinking about it even before the first date starts but she won’t start thinking about it until she’s gone on quite a few dates with you. When you kiss her goodnight or try to get her turned on she’s not going to be very enthusiastic and you can tell she’s making an effort just because she wants to make you happy.
7) She praises your personality more than your looks
If your partner seems to have little attraction to your personality and your looks then she’s lost interest in you. If she praises your personality and gives you compliments about little things that you do then she does like you, it’s who you are as a person that is attracting her and your looks are secondary.
8) She doesn’t check out other men
When your partner is thinking about breaking up with you she’s going to start checking out other men and she’s not going to care if you notice her doing this. If your partner is sexually distant from you but she still only has eyes for you then something else is going on and being demisexual may be the issue. Since she can’t form an emotional connection by just checking out guys or watching porn she’s not going to engage in this behaviour very often because it doesn’t do anything for her. You’re going to be the only guy she pays attention to because she feels close to you.
9) She wants non-sexual intimacy
Your partner isn’t going to want any kind of intimacy with you if she’s not that into you because it reminds her of how she’s supposed to feel about you. If she’s demisexual and is into you then she wants a specific type of intimacy and won’t show interest in sexual intimacy. She wants non-sexual intimacy and won’t do gestures like giving a back rub or snuggling as a way of leading into sex. She does these gestures to show love and affection while giving and receiving them at face value.
10) She forgets how important sex is to you
When you’re dating a demisexual you’re going to notice that you’re the one who always initiates having sex because you see it as an important part of the relationship. Since sex isn’t a priority for her she’s going to forget how important it is to you and it won’t occur to her to be the one to take the lead in the bedroom. She acts dismissive of it and doesn’t fully understand why you make such a big deal about it.
She is working as writer for diferent websites. She has published many hand-books about adult dating and relationships.
- 10 Tips to be attractive to a woman if you are ugly - December 19, 2021
- 8 Reasons why you should date a nerdy guy - December 5, 2021
- 10 Things men can do to get a second date - November 28, 2021
