7 Ways to break up or end a relationship like a gentleman
When you want to break up with someone you want to do it in the right way because it’s better for both of you mentally and emotionally. If you don’t end a relationship like a gentleman you’re going to risk causing a scene in public, hurting someone you used to love and making it more difficult for both of you to move on. You don’t want to go through something like this so when you’re ready to break up with them you need to think it through and decide on a course of action before doing anything so that it can go as smooth as possible.
1) Break up in person
A gentleman knows that this is going to be a painful experience and is willing to deal with it because it’s not right to hurt someone you used to love. You need to break up with your girlfriend in person so they know you’re serious about this and that you’re not trying to hide behind your phone because you’re too scared to face them. Doing this face to face shows respect and it gives you a chance to send the right message through body language as well as giving you a chance to deal with any issues that still need to be resolved.
2) Be sure of how you feel
Before you break up with someone you need to take some time to think about how you feel and make sure that you’re not acting too hasty. If you keep going back and forth on whether you should break up or try to make it through this rough patch you’re going to send mixed signals. She’s going to sense you’re unsure and will try to talk you into giving the relationship another chance which may not be what you want. You have to be sure about what you’re doing and know that it’s the right decision so that you can be calm and confident when you’re talking to her and stick to what you want to do.
3) Know why you want to break up
If your girlfriend isn’t expecting you to break up with her then she’s going to be confused and will want to know why you’re doing this. She’s going to be even more upset if you can’t give her a proper answer and just tell her that you think it’s for the best or that you’re not right for each other because it sounds like you’re making excuses and not taking it seriously. She’s going to want specifics because she doesn’t want to spend ages thinking about why things went wrong so before you end the relationship you need to think about why you don’t want to be with her anymore and figure out a gentle way to explain it to her. Giving her a reason for the break up is going to help her understand what’s going on and see things from your point of view which can make moving on easier.
4) See them at a good time
There’s never a truly good time to break up with someone but sometimes are better than others and if you’re a gentleman you’re going to choose to do this when it’s best for her. When you’ve decided to end the relationship don’t rush into doing it and take it slowly so you have time to pay attention to what’s going on in your girlfriend’s life. You don’t want to break up when she’s going through a stressful time with work, family or friends or when she’s struggling with other issues because this is going to make it harder for her to deal with. Wait until she’s calm and has a support system of friends or family she can turn to for support then tell her that the relationship is over.
5) Choose a neutral place to meet them
A lot of people like to break up in public because the lack of privacy means there’s less likely to be yelling or crying but this can make things more difficult. Your girlfriend is going to need to express herself and by taking that away from her you’re going to cause more emotional damage. To break up like a gentleman you need to choose a neutral place to meet them so that she doesn’t feel like you’re trying to suppress or control her behaviour and this shows her that you’ve thought about how to tactfully end the relationship.
6) Give her a chance to talk
It’s going to be easier to end the relationship if you just tell her you’re moving on then leave but a gentleman is willing to sit there and feel awkward or upset if it means giving her a chance to talk. You may not want to go through that or you may think it’s her fault you’re leaving her so you don’t care what she has to say but that isn’t fair. A break up affects both of you but if you’re the one doing all of the talking it’s going to make her feel alone or powerless. Even if you don’t like what she says to you, you need to let her express herself and you need to do this without interrupting her or telling her that she’s wrong.
7) Be kind and supportive
A gentleman is kind and supportive to his girlfriend, even when she’s about to become his ex because he knows that this is someone he used to love and that her feelings matter too. You can show kindness physically and verbally so use a combination of both to help set the right mood for such a difficult moment. You can use physical gestures like making eye contact, looking sad and gently touching her arm to express empathy and let her know that this is painful for you too. You can also choose your words carefully so that she feels like you’re going through this together. You shouldn’t blame her for what went wrong in the relationship, you should keep your tone calm and you should tell her that you know this is hurting her.
She is working as writer for diferent websites. She has published many hand-books about adult dating and relationships.
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