10 Tips for dating after divorce to get you back in the game
Getting back into the dating game is scary after a long absence and this fear can make you cling to the single life beyond a healthy point. It’s good to be single for awhile after a divorce because you need time to heal but there comes a point when you need to move on otherwise loneliness is going to eat you up. You want to start things off on the right foot when you start looking for a new relationship after a divorce so take some time to learn helpful strategies and keep an open mind.
1) Join online dating sites
Using online dating sites like adultfriendfinder can help you ease out of the single life by taking the pressure off of meeting someone right away and you have access to more people so there’s a higher chance of meeting someone who’s right for you. You want to take your time after going through a painful experience like a divorce so join a couple of sites and message people who interest you so that you can get used to flirting and getting to know another person again. Once you gain confidence you can go on a couple of practice dates before getting serious about dating.
2) Expand your social life
Some people isolate themselves after a divorce and if this is the coping mechanism you chose then you need to start living life again. Expand your social life by joining a hobby club or a gym or go out with friends to clubs. This lets you have fun and do something that interests you while giving you a chance to meet new people. The people you meet can be potential dating partners and having a strong social life can give you something to talk about when you’re introducing yourself to someone.
3) Be open to different kinds of relationships
After a divorce you may not be ready for a serious relationship but that’s something you’re going to look for because it’s what you’re used to. Be open minded about other types of relationship, from one time hook ups to friends with benefits situation. It can be easier to get back in the dating game by testing the waters with hook ups until you’re ready to meet someone for a long term relationship. You can also use this as an opportunity to experiment with relationships you were nervous about before, like hook ups, because it’s expected for people to be a little wild after a divorce because they get to enjoy the single life again.
4) Make sure you’re ready to move on
A divorce causes a lot of mental and emotional damage that needs to be dealt with before you’re truly ready to move on. Don’t rush into dating again and only do so when you feel confident that you’re in the right mental state to be vulnerable with someone new. Go on a couple of practice dates with someone and make it clear you’re not sure if you’re ready to date again so there’s no mixed signals and see how it makes you feel.
5) Know what is right for you
There are certain things you should learn from a divorce, like what mistakes to not make and what kind of person is actually right for you, so take time thinking about your divorce and make a list of all the negatives and positives. This gives you a better understanding of what type of person you should be dating instead of getting together because of lust or because they remind you of your ex and it can help your next relationship go smoother because you know what you need to improve on.
6) Don’t hide your divorce
Some people hide their divorce because they don’t want people to see them as a failure and they don’t want potential partners to worry about drama. If you’re dating someone there’s a good chance your divorce will come up eventually and if you wait until later to mention it your new partner is going to wonder what else you’re hiding from them. Be honest about being recently divorced and answer questions they have about important stuff, like if you have children or if your ex is still involved in your life.
7) Don’t compare potential partners to your ex
It’s easy to compare potential partners to your ex because you spent a lot of time with your ex and they were a big part of your life. When you meet someone new don’t focus on just their negative qualities and say they’re just like your ex or don’t go into a new relationship expecting it to end in heartbreak like your last one did. This is a new relationship and you need to keep the past separate from it so you can give it a fair chance to succeed.
8) Give yourself realistic expectations
There are two extremes that some people have for relationships after a divorce; they think the next relationship is going to be a disaster because they no longer believe in love or they think that their marriage was a mistake but this time they’ll meet Mr. or Mrs. Right and fall madly in love. You need to give yourself realistic expectations and if the first date doesn’t go well you can’t get discouraged. Tell yourself that dating again takes time and it’s not going to be perfect but it can be fun if you don’t put too much pressure on yourself or date someone just because you’re lonely.
9) Have fun and try new things
This is a new chapter of your life so start it off on a positive note by having fun and trying new things. Be spontaneous in and out of the bedroom. Go on dates to places that are non-traditional, instead of dinner and a movie you can go star gazing or tour a winery. When it comes to sex you can try new positions or toys. This is going to make things more interesting and it gives you something to look forward to which is going to help take your mind of the nervousness you’re going to feel about dating again.
10) Date a divorcee
It’s common for people to get a divorce so there’s a high probability that someone in your social life knows a single divorcee who they can set you up with and you can also look on dating sites for a divorcee to meet. Dating a divorcee can be a good idea because they understand what you’re going through and know that it’s hard to commit to a new relationship. This understanding means they’re more supportive and are less likely to get upset when you want to take things slow or suddenly decide that you’re not ready to date again like you thought you were.
She is working as writer for diferent websites. She has published many hand-books about adult dating and relationships.
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