9 Important life lessons to learn from a bad breakup
A breakup is usually seen as a bad thing because people get caught up in heart break and don’t realize that they can learn valuable life lessons from this experience. It’s important to take some time to be upset so you can deal with your emotions and move on but you also need to look at the positive side of things. Going through a breakup can help you understand why you need to be realistic about relationships and how to take responsibility for your actions which can help you in other areas of life. Knowing which life lessons you can learn will help you analyze your previous relationships and see that they ended up being a good thing no matter how badly they ended.
1) You have to be yourself
At the start of a new relationship you want to make a good first impression and this leads to you putting on an act. Sometimes you don’t know how to stop doing this so you end up hiding who you really are and this puts a lot of pressure on you to live up to the false expectations you’ve created. After the breakup you’re free to be yourself and are going to notice how much easier it is to get through the day because you’re not hyper focused on how you’re acting. You learn that being yourself is the best way to live your life and you shouldn’t change for anyone because if they love you then they’ll accept you for who you are.
2) Ignoring problems don’t make them go away
A lot of couples breakup because they ignore small problems and over time they become big ones and they feel like they can no longer deal with them so it’s easier to go their separate ways. You’ve probably done this in past relationships and eventually you learn that ignoring problems doesn’t make them go away, it just makes them harder to deal with and move past. You know that confronting a problem right away is scary or difficult but it’s better in the long run because you’re not letting resentment or anger build between you and your partner.
3) You can’t change someone
People tend to fall into love quickly and overlook their new partner’s flaws by telling themselves that it’s not a big deal and they’ll change if they really love you. You’ve done this to your partner, even in small ways, and get frustrated when they don’t change and live up to your expectations. After your breakup you need to think about how you actually felt about them and if you were following a fantasy because this is going to make you realize what you were doing. There was a breakup because you weren’t right for each other and neither of you can change just to make the other person happy.
4) A breakup isn’t one person’s fault
You had a part to play in the breakup and you need to take responsibility for your actions so that you don’t make the same mistake in your next relationship. Think about what you could have done differently and find ways to work on your issues, from learning to deal with problems in a healthy way to going to therapy for professional help.
5) A social life can add to your life
Sometimes you get too deep into a relationship and you neglect your social life to the point where you no longer have hobbies or friends to hang out with. When you breakup you’re left alone with no support and you don’t know how to pass the time because your life is empty without your partner. This teaches you that you should never neglect your social life and it can benefit you when you’re in a relationship or single. An active social life when dating gives you and your partner space so you don’t feel smothered and when you’re single you have friends to turn to for support and hobbies to distract you for short periods of time.
6) Be realistic about relationships
It’s easy to get caught up in a fantasy and end up in a relationship that’s not right for you and there’s a bad breakup. Falling for this mistake is going to teach you the painful lesson that what you want isn’t always reality and you need to be realistic about relationships. You can have many feelings for someone but it’s not always going to turn into love and you’re not going to meet someone who’s perfect in every way. By learning this you can start having a relationship with someone who’s a good match for you and you can decide if there’s potential for it to last long term.
7) You need to listen to your instincts
Before the breakup happened you probably knew things weren’t going well and were having doubts about being with them but you pushed those thoughts away and hoped things would get better. This rarely happens unless you’re proactive about fixing the relationship and all you’re doing is prolonging the breakup, which leads to more hurt feelings. After going this through experience you learn that you need to listen to your instincts because your mind is trying to tell you something your heart doesn’t want to admit.
8) Love doesn’t always last forever
When people fall in love they think it’ll last forever and when it doesn’t they get blindsided. If you’re a hopeless romantic you’ve thought this way during most of your past relationships but after the last breakup it’s time to admit to yourself the truth. By acknowledging that love doesn’t last forever you learn to appreciate the relationship for what it was and remember the good times instead of wasting time focusing on how it ended.
9) Being single isn’t a bad thing
Some people are afraid of being alone so they stay in relationships that aren’t good for them because they think it’s better than the alternative. If you spend time being single after a breakup instead of jumping into a new relationship you’re going to learn that being single can be a great way to live your life. You realize your world doesn’t need to revolve around one person and that you can have fulfilling platonic relationships with friends, have an active social life and go out whenever you want instead of making plans with your partner and you have time to be selfish and look after yourself.
She is working as writer for diferent websites. She has published many hand-books about adult dating and relationships.
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