How to have a secret relationship with someone: 8 Successful ways
You don’t want to get caught when you’re having a secret relationship because that can cause a lot of problems for both of you, especially if the two of you are already with other people. This can lead to a break up or divorce which will complicate your life for the long term. You need to be smart if you want to be successful at hiding what’s going on so that you can have as much fun as you want. Don’t lose control of your sex drive and do reckless things because this will get you caught. Instead you need to be cautious, think things through and make sure to cover your steps so that your secret stays safe.
1) Make it about your sex drive
When you have a secret relationship you need to make sure you don’t get too emotionally involved because this can cause problems and you’ll be torn between your partner and lover. To stop this from happening you can make it about your sex drive and see this relationship as just being a way to get your sexual needs met. When they try to have a more meaningful connection with you and want to see you for more than just sex you have to stick to your boundaries so that it stays a secret relationship. You shouldn’t talk about personal things with them and only see them when it’s for a hookup so that it’s clear you can never be a real couple and you’re not changing your mind about that.
2) Always be discreet
If you want to keep your secret relationship between you and your lover then you need to be discreet and make sure they’re as vigilant as you are. Tell them what you’re doing to make sure no one else finds out what’s going on and ask them to do the same things. You can be discreet by deleting messages as soon as you’ve read them, never tell anyone or hint about being in a secret relationship and don’t meet them in public. This helps you set boundaries and make it less likely for someone to notice there’s something going on.
3) Treat them like a stranger
When you’re in a secret relationship you have to set boundaries and make sure your lover stays in the right place in your life. You have to treat them like a stranger whenever you’re not meeting for a hookup so you don’t accidentally say or do something you shouldn’t. Never mention their name, even if your lover is someone your partner knows and is a friend, because it shows you’re interested in them and if you run into them in public you should ignore them. This is to stop your partner from noticing small details, like excitement in your voice or you blushing, which you won’t be able to control if you mention your lover. You have to act like they don’t exist because they can only be a small part of your life so you need to treat them that way.
4) Avoid public places
You can’t let anyone see you with your lover when you’re having a secret relationship because you don’t know how they’ll react. They may tell your partner that they saw you with someone else, mention it to a mutual friend and gossip starts to spread or they may use this information to blackmail you. This is why you should only meet at their place or at a hotel because if you meet at your home then a neighbour may see your lover. Good communication helps because your lover will know how important this is and won’t surprise you with a visit when you’re not expecting it so tell them you’ll only meet them in certain places and never in public.
5) Be selective about when to meet
Being selective about when you meet is vital when you’re in a secret relationship because you want the risk of being caught to be as low as possible. You should learn your partner’s schedule so you can arrange to meet your lover when you know you won’t be missed. Don’t take chances to meet just because your sex drive is high, it’s better to wait until you know for sure that your partner is busy with work or is hanging out with friends. They should be out of the house so they won’t see you leave and ask where you’re going.
6) Cover your tracks
Covering your tracks is a habit you need to get into because if you don’t do this then your lover may make a mistake or your partner can see messages you’ve received. Being in a secret relationship means being on top of things so you can stay in control and this is an approach you need to take with the evidence of your relationship. Staying in touch with your lover is an easy way to get caught because there’s many ways you do this, from talking on the phone, texting, sexting, talking pictures together and buying presents or meals with your credit card. You should only talk to your lover when you know you’re alone, remember to delete all texts and pictures they send you, pay for items in cash and text instead of talking so no one overhears you.
7) Use good communication
You need to be upfront and clear with the person you’re having a secret relationship with because you’re putting a lot of trust in them. You don’t want to accidentally send mixed signals or have them get upset when things don’t go as they thought it would. You have to use good communication so that both of you are on the same page and can enjoy the time you have together. Explain why discretion is important to you, state your boundaries and talk to them if they do something that bothers you. This helps them understand what you expect from them and they probably have similar concerns as you so talking like this makes them feel like they can open up to you too.
8) Always have an excuse ready
You need to always have an excuse ready when you’re in a secret relationship because you never know when your partner will suddenly ask you where you’re going or why you’re acting different lately. You might think you’re doing a good job of hiding what’s going on but your partner knows you well and will notice a change in your behaviour. You need to have a believable excuse, like hanging out with friends or taking up jogging, if she asks where you’re going and say you’re distracted by work if she asks about your behaviour.
She is working as writer for diferent websites. She has published many hand-books about adult dating and relationships.
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