What to do if there is no chemistry on your first date: 9 Dating Tips
A lack of chemistry can make a first date painful to get through and it’s worse when the other person thinks it went well. When this happens there are a few things you can do to deal with the situation so that it goes smoothly as possible. You have to be willing to ignore your disappointment and look on the bright side. By using the right approach you can still have a great time, nobody gets their feelings hurt and there isn’t a second date. Chemistry is important when you know you’re going to see them again but for a one time experience you can still make the best of the situation when you’re not attracted to each other.
1) Use it as a learning experience
When there’s no chemistry you don’t have to end the date as quickly as possible and see it as a bad experience. Instead, you can use this as a learning experience because you’re not invested in making things work with this person. Having no true feelings for them means you can practice your dating techniques without worrying about the outcome. You can try out different conversation topics to see which ones grab their attention and flirt to see if they react to it. This can help you feel more confident about what you’re doing and you can use these techniques on another person that you’re interested in dating.
2) See if there’s friendship
People expect to feel a spark when they meet someone for the first time because they’re hoping things will lead to dating and when they don’t feel that they get disappointed. They focus on the negativity but it’s important to keep an open mind. Pay attention to who they are and how you really feel about them during the date because you may have a lot in common, like interests or hobbies. Think about whether or not you’d enjoy hanging out with them in a platonic way because this non-sexual approach can help you see them in a new way. You can end up being compatible after all and begin a friendship that neither of you were expecting.
3) Suggest doing an activity
Doing an activity together can help when there’s no chemistry because it gives you something to look forward to and is a change from what’s currently happening. When the conversation is dwindling and there’s an awkward silence you can suggest going to see a movie, checking out some nearby stores or go for a walk. This can help lighten up the mood and give you something to discuss. If this goes well it can stop the date from being a waste of time and it could be what causes the chemistry to start appearing.
4) Be honest about the lack of chemistry
There’s a good chance that the other person knows there isn’t any chemistry between the two of you so don’t pretend that everything is going great. Be honest that you don’t feel any attraction but do it in a gentle way so their feelings don’t get hurt. Tell them that you don’t think it’s going to work out and give them a chance to share how they feel so it doesn’t feel like it’s their fault. If they didn’t realize there’s no connection then this is the moment they find out there’s no chance of dating and may try to change your mind so be prepared to stand by your words.
5) Try to make the conversation interesting
There doesn’t need to be sexual attraction in order for two people to be compatible so find another way to get closer together in an acquaintance way. One way to do this is by having an interesting conversation. This makes things more fun and you can share things that you weren’t expecting. Talk about your dream vacation or the craziest experience you’ve ever had so that you get their attention. The goal of this conversation is to still enjoy the first date even though there’s no chemistry and you’re never going to see each other again.
6) Talk about something your passionate about
It’s difficult to set the right mood when you’re on a date and there’s no chemistry which can make the whole thing feel like a disaster. You can change the mood by talking about something you’re passionate about. This puts the attention on you which helps the other person relax and it shows them that you’re an interesting person. Since you’re talking about a topic you care about it can make the date go by faster and it’s more fulfilling for you.
7) Think about what first attracted you
There’s a reason why you were open to the idea of dating them so don’t forget this when you meet in person and sparks don’t fly. It can take awhile for people to relax on a first date and you can mistake this nervousness for a lack of chemistry. Think about how you felt when you first interacted with them, whether it was online or in a social setting. Remember why you wanted to spend time with them and see if you can get that feeling back by looking for these traits in them.
8) Just enjoy the date
You can still enjoy the date even if you don’t feel chemistry with the other person so don’t let this ruin the night. You can still have a good time by having a laid back conversation, eating a tasty meal at a restaurant or watching a movie, and seeing it as being better than spending the night alone at home. You know you’re not compatible with them so don’t waste time trying to make it happen and accept the date for how it is.
9) Make it clear there’s no second date
After an awkward date it’s normal to want to leave as quickly as possible and forget about it but you can’t do that because you don’t know how the other person feels. You need to make sure that both of you are on the same page when it comes to not being compatible. At the end of the date tell them it was nice meeting them but that you don’t think the attraction is strong enough for a second date. Be firm but polite about this and when you’re home you can block their number on your phone and block them on any online sites that you’ve been talking to them on. Make it a clean break so that you can move on to finding someone else.
She is working as writer for diferent websites. She has published many hand-books about adult dating and relationships.
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