If your friends don’t like your girlfriend here are the 7 things you should do
When your friends don’t like your girlfriend it can lead to fights, hurt feelings or having to choose between them. It’s not a healthy way to be since you lose either way because if you don’t deal with this situation the right way you’re going to break up with her or damage your friendships. When these two groups of people who are important to you don’t get along you need to take your time, find out where the toxic feelings are coming from and find a way to make things better. There’s a few different approaches to take and using a combination of them can improve the situation over time.
1) Admit her flaws
Your friends may not like your girlfriend because they think you’re blinded by love and are rushing into a relationship with her. This happens when you’re over enthusiastic about how great she is and how much you love being with her. You talk about all of her attributes and make her sound unbelievably perfect. It seems like she’s only shown you her good side which makes her look like a narcissist. They’re worried about you making a mistake and don’t like her because they think she’s manipulating you through your emotions. By admitting her flaws to them you’re letting them know that you see her for who she is and know she isn’t perfect but you still like her anyways. This helps them feel more confident about you making the right decision and are willing to give her a chance.
2) Find out why they think she’s toxic
There may be a valid reason why they don’t like your girlfriend but haven’t said anything specific to you because they don’t want to risk straining the friendship with you any more than it already is. It could be a simple misunderstanding or it could be a certain thing they don’t like about her. You need to find out why they think she’s toxic to the point where it’s obvious they don’t like her and can’t be bothered to hide it. Ask them what’s wrong and keep an open mind as they tell you. They’re being honest and knowing the truth can help you figure out a solution or at least understand the situation better. You can tell them why you disagree with them but don’t tell them they’re wrong because that makes them feel like you’re not listening to them.
3) Keep hanging out with them
It’s normal to be upset when your friends don’t like your girlfriend and feel uncomfortable around them but this leads to you spending less time with them. Doing that validates their feelings because they think you’re choosing her over them and not respecting their opinions. You need to keep hanging out with them because they’re your friends, they care about you and will be there for you. They’re not doing this to be mean, they’re entitled to their opinions and you don’t want to throw away friendships over something silly. Spend time with them and forget about their issues with your girlfriend because focusing too much on it won’t make it better. Show them you value the friendships and give things a chance to work out naturally because they may just need time to get to know her better.
4) See things from their point of view
You need to understand why they feel the way they do and one way to do this is by seeing things from their point of view. You should do this after you’ve talked to them about why they dislike your girlfriend so you get a more accurate idea of what’s going on. Think about what each of them have said and be honest as you put yourself in their shoes. Go through each of their points and see if their views are valid because they might see some narcissist behaviour in her that you’ve missed.
5) Slowly let them get to know each other
Slowly letting your friends get to know your girlfriend can help change their opinion of her because it gives them a chance to see what she’s really like and see how much you love her. You can’t force them to spend lots of time together or bring her along every time you see your friends because forcing them to interact will make them dislike her even more. You can bring her along occasionally and introduce her to a few friends at a time or involve her in a couple of conversations then stop being involved. Give them time to get used to each other and let them naturally find a way to interact because this lets them sort things out together without you forcing it to happen. This puts less pressure on them which makes them feel more at ease and this increases the chances of them getting along.
6) Explain your love for your girlfriend
It’s not easy to share your feelings and it’s hard to explain how much or why you love your girlfriend so this is a conversation you avoid. By avoiding it your friends don’t realize how serious the relationship is and think it’s toxic because they only see you spending less time with them or not knowing her as well as you think you do. They need to understand why you’re with her and that it’s important for them to get along because it makes your life better when the people you care about aren’t at odds. Tell them you like her a lot and you wish they’d give her a chance because she’s not a narcissist who’s trapped you in a relationship. Explain that she makes you happy and that she’s a part of your life now and you want this to be a good time for you.
7) Don’t badmouth either group
You should never badmouth either group because it means you’re picking a side and this can backfire if you break up with your girlfriend later on. You have to respect everyone’s feelings and accept that some people just don’t get along. Tell them you wish things were different and give them opportunities to change things but don’t go further than that. Don’t complain about your friends being mean or tell your girlfriend she needs to act more mature because this makes you look bad. They’ll remember this and it can damage these relationships further. You don’t want to be the toxic one so it’s best to stay neutral and be mindful of what you say.
She is working as writer for diferent websites. She has published many hand-books about adult dating and relationships.
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