11 Things you should never ask a transgender person
Transgender people are becoming more acceptable in society but people aren’t sure what’s appropriate to say which could lead to an awkward moment. Avoid making conversation blunders by avoiding certain questions.
1) Are you a drag queen?
There’s a difference between a drag queen and a transwoman so don’t insult her by asking which one she is. A drag queen will dress as a woman but still live life as a man whereas a transwoman is someone who is born a male and decides to live as a woman.
2) What’s your real name?
Transwomen usually have a different birth name then they one that they go by after coming out as transgendered. Use the name that they give you because that’s the name they prefer to be called and is who they are.
3) Have you had surgery?
Surgery is a very personal decision for transgender and some choose to have no surgery or only top surgery instead of a full body change because it’s less dangerous or they don’t feel it’s necessary. They’ll tell you if it’s something you need to know so don’t get too personal with them.
4) How do you have sex?
They have sex pretty much the same way as everyone else does so think about how you would feel if someone asked you this question. You’ll find out if things get that serious between the two of you and it’ll be a talk done in private.
5) Are you gay or straight?
Sexuality and gender identity are two different things so their sexual orientation might not be what you expect. If you’re interested in them then flirt and see how they react. They’ll let you know if you’re the type of person they’re attracted to.
6) Which bathroom do you use?
Transgender tend to use the bathroom they feel most comfortable with and some might use their birth gender’s bathroom because they feel like they don’t pass and are afraid of being harassed. It is more common for them to use the bathroom that corresponds to their current gender.
7) What did you use to look like?
Usually their life before transitioning was a difficult one because they had to go through a lot to become who they are today. Talking about the past might be painful and asking what they used to look like might make them feel like they look weird now.
8) When did you come out?
Again, this is making them think about a time that was probably difficult for them which will make them feel uncomfortable. Focus on the present and get to know them as they are now because this is the person you’ll be spending time with.
9) Is this permanent?
You want to make them feel accepted so don’t question how they’re living their lives.
10) Have you seen…?
There are movies and TV shows that feature transgender in them but that doesn’t mean trans watch them. This makes it seem like their gender identity is the only thing interesting about them so be broader with your questions by asking if they’ve seen any good movies lately.
11) What do you think about Caitlin Jenner and Laverne Cox?
Don’t ask a transwoman what she thinks about other transwomen, especially ones that are celebrities. This makes them feel like you’re comparing them to somebody else and they now have a standard to live up to. Focus on them as a person and ask questions about their interests instead.
She is working as writer for diferent websites. She has published many hand-books about adult dating and relationships.
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