9 Dating tips every introvert needs to know before dating
An introvert finds dating difficult because it requires them to be outgoing which is something they struggle with. A blind date is even more stressful because it’s a stranger and they don’t know what to expect so an introvert may find it easier to meet people on dating sites like AdultFriendFinder. If you want to be successful at dating when you’re an introvert then you need some tips to keep in mind.
1) Use dating sites to meet people
By using dating sites to meet people you can take your time getting to know them and only arrange to meet when you feel ready. When writing your profile description make it clear that you’re an introvert by saying things like you enjoy being a homebody or prefer hanging out with a few friends because this will give other people an idea of what you’re like. You can also describe your perfect date to get the idea across by saying you’d like to go somewhere private and have a quiet dinner for two rather than going out clubbing.
2) Tell them you’re an introvert
If you’re worried about the first date and how you’ll act then you can prepare them ahead of time by telling them that you can’t wait to meet them but that you’re an introvert so you might not make a good first impression. This way they can figure out ways to make the date easier for you and ask you if there’s anything they can do to make things go smoother. By not telling them you run the risk of them thinking you’re bored or uninterested in them during the date so it’s better to deal with the issue upfront.
3) Date an introvert
It might be easier to date another introvert because they understand what it’s like and won’t push you past your boundaries. You can find them by reading profiles on dating sites like Victoria Milan and looking for words like “shy” or “quiet”. Make the first move by messaging them and tell them that you think you have a similar personality so they’ll be more likely to respond. Only send one message so you don’t pressure them or come off as being desperate because they might be nervous about responding.
4) Take time getting to know them
You can feel more prepared for dating if you take time to get to know them before meeting them in person. Exchange numerous messages and Skype each other so that when you do meet it won’t feel weird. Ask as many questions as you can think of so you can get a feel for who they are and this shows them that you’re seriously interested in them but do it in a conversational way so it doesn’t seem like you’re interrogating them. Remember to tell them about yourself as well so that when you meet you feel like you’re meeting a friend instead of a stranger.
5) Meet at a place you’re familiar with
It’s better to meet your blind date at a place you’re familiar with because this will take away some of your anxiety. You’ll be in a place that you’re comfortable with and can give you something to talk about because you can tell your date why you like it there so much. If this is a restaurant then you can recommend your favourite meal and the familiar atmosphere means you can focus on them instead of being distracted by the surroundings.
6) Go to the movies
Going to the movies is a good date idea because it’s an activity that doesn’t require a lot of talking so you have time to get used to being around your date. Afterwards you can go to dinner and the movie will give you something to talk about. Avoid a movie that’s gender specific like a chick flick or action movie and see one that both of you can enjoy like a comedy or mystery. Avoid anything too serious though because you want to keep the mood light and fun. After talking about the movie you can talk about what other movies you’d like to see or who your favourite actors are.
7) Find a common interest
Having a common interest will give you something to talk about so you can avoid awkward silences. If you’re meeting people on dating sites like RedHotPie read profiles carefully and only message those who you think you have lots in common with. Mention in your first message what you have in common so it gives them a topic to talk about and let the conversation happen naturally from there. By finding common ground you’ll feel like you know them and dating will be easier because you can focus on things that you know about instead of struggling to keep the conversation going.
8) Don’t imagine it being a disaster
It’s normal for most people to imagine how the first date will go and introverts will usually think it’s going to be a disaster which makes it even more scary and stressful for them. When you imagine what it’ll be like focus on positive things happening so you feel more relaxed. Tell yourself that everything will be fine and that they’ll enjoy being with you. Think of some topics beforehand to talk about so that you can break the ice easily because this will make you feel more prepared and confident which will make a better first impression.
9) Silence can be a good thing
You need to remember that silence can be a good thing instead of worrying about what will happen when the two of you don’t know what to say to each other. A problem that introverts have is that they focus on the silence, get nervous and it seems like a bigger deal than it is. Instead of worrying that the silence means something is wrong, use it as an opportunity to take a moment and gather your thoughts. The other person will be glad of a break too and can help both of you feel refreshed.
10) Follow their lead
If you date an extrovert then you can let them take the lead because it’s something they’re naturally inclined to do. Let them do most of the talking but pay attention and try to reply often enough to make them know that you’re attracted to them. When they decide where to go on date night tell them you think it’s a great idea or when they ask for your opinion and you’re unsure of what to say just tell them that you like to go with the flow so whatever they want to do is fine with you.
She is working as writer for diferent websites. She has published many hand-books about adult dating and relationships.
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