10 Tips on how to cope when you and your partner have different libidos
When you and your partner have different levels of libido it affects your relationship because you feel sexually frustrated and an emotional distance forms. It starts in the bedroom and slowly affects other parts of your life until you think about being with someone else. You can avoid breaking up with your partner by finding ways to cope with having a different libido strength which can put the relationship back on track.
1) Explore sexual fantasies
You want to make sex an activity they look forward to and the thought of it is enough to start turning them on. You can get them more interested in sex by their exploring sexual fantasies, they’re going to be more eager since it’s all about their desires and it brings you closer as a couple because this is an intimate moment.
2) Use masturbation for satisfaction
One way to cope with a difference in libido is by taking care of things yourself so that it doesn’t become a problem. You can do this discreetly so you don’t draw attention to you being dissatisfied. Masturbation is an easy way for you to get sexual satisfaction without putting pressure on your partner and it can give you a chance to try different techniques, like edging, that you can use when you’re having sex with your partner to make it better for them.
3) Schedule sex dates
Scheduling sex dates doesn’t sound romantic or fun but it can help the two of you deal with having different libidos. The two of you can talk about how often each of you would be interested in having sex and compromise on frequency so both of you are happy with the outcome. These sex dates can be part of a date night so the focus isn’t just on sex and is more about being a couple. This makes it easier to cope with your libido situation because you know when to expect sex and it gives your partner time to get excited for it.
4) Consider having an open relationship
An open relationship can be beneficial if you have a strong libido and your partner is open-minded and secure enough to consider using this as a way of dealing with it. You need to talk about it instead of doing it behind their back so it’s not considered cheating and it lets the two of you come up with boundaries so it’s done in a way that both of you are happy with. Explain to them that it’s strictly a sexual relationship you’ll be having because you still love them and this is just an option for you to get you high libido satisfied while not putting pressure on them to have sex more often.
5) Increase intimacy
When there’s a problem with libidos not matching up you can cope with it by finding ways to feel satisfied without sex and trying to help your partner get turned on easier. One way to do this is by increasing intimacy because it can involve touching in a loving but no sexual way and it makes you feel emotionally closer to each other which can make it easier for your partner to become aroused. You can do things like cuddle more often, touch their arm when talking to them or have more meaningful conversations.
6) Make sex memorable
Quality is better than quantity and this idea can be applied to your sex life as a way of making the best out of having a different libido than your partner. Make sex memorable so even though you don’t do it as frequently as you’d like it’s still a satisfying experience. You can take your time during sex so it lasts longer, focus on foreplay, try exploring sexual fantasies and making sure that both of you are getting what you want so neither of you feels bored or frustrated.
7) Talk and see if there’s a problem
If your partner’s low libido is something that began recently or seems to come and go then talk to them about it. There may be a reason for it and you can work on it as a couple to help improve your sex life. They may be feeling stressed lately, feel you’re not as close as you used to be or are self-conscious about their appearance. If you can figure out what the problem is then you can start finding a solution for it and even if you can’t find the source of the low libido it can help your partner feel better because they know you care about them.
8) See a sex therapist
A sex therapist has experience with helping couples that have different libidos and seeing one may help you deal with the issue in a more effective way. They can give the two of you a safe space to talk about your feelings with what’s going on and can make suggestions on how to improve the situation. They will help you learn about good communication and suggest techniques like exploring sexual fantasies or spending more time together without the intent of sex so you can reconnect as a couple.
9) Decrease your libido
If your libido is high then you can deal with it by finding ways to decrease it and control it better. This stops you from having unrealistic sexual expectations and understand that it’s possible to live with less sex without feeling frustrated. You can try a masturbation schedule so that you’re making sure your needs get met instead of expecting your partner to be ready for sex whenever you want it and letting the desire for it grow until it’s all you want. You can also watch less porn so you have a chance to think about other things or distract yourself by taking up a new hobby.
10) Increase their libido
Your partner can increase their libido if it bothers them and they want to have a more active sex life. You can help them by making small changes like eating more aphrodisiac foods, exercising with them so they become healthier, picking up vitamins for them at the store or spend time finding ways to help them become aroused. When you help them with this it takes away some of the embarrassment they feel and it motivates them to keep working on finding the right balance for your sex life because they know that it’s important to you and the relationship.
She is working as writer for diferent websites. She has published many hand-books about adult dating and relationships.
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