11 Things you should never say on a first date
When you’re on a first date you want to make a good impression but saying the wrong thing, even if it seems appropriate to you, could cause things to end quickly. You should never talk about your ex girlfriend because you don’t want to come across as bitter or still not over them and you shouldn’t use any dirty talk because the first date is when you’re getting comfortable with each other and you don’t want her to think you only care about sex. There are also topics, like family or what you want in a partner, that you need to be careful about how you phrase it because it can sound worse than you mean it to. Knowing what you shouldn’t say can help you be more prepared and make sure your potential new relationship can start in the right way.
1) “You’re prettier than my ex girlfriend.”
You might think that you’re complimenting her by saying that she’s prettier or better than your ex girlfriend but she’s not going to see it that way. She’s going to feel like you’re comparing the two of them and that she has to surpass your ex girlfriend in every way because you have higher standards now and are looking for a woman who is perfect. She isn’t going to like that so if you want to compliment you should tell her she looks beautiful but don’t mention the ex girlfriend at all.
2) “It’s been so long since my last date.”
You should never mention how long it’s been since your last date because it’s going to make her wonder why you’ve been single for so long. This is going to make her spend the first date looking for little clues about why she shouldn’t go out with you and she’s going to be focused on all of your negative qualities. Even small things are going to seem more important to her and she probably won’t want to go on a second date with you.
3) “I can’t believe you look like your profile pic.”
If the first date is with someone you’ve met on an online date site then you now there’s a chance she’s not going to look like her profile pic. When it turns out that she’s the real deal then you should be happy but quiet about it because if you talk about previous first dates with online friends then you’re going to sound like you sleep around a lot or it can sound like you only care about appearances and neither of these are things that women want to hear on the first date.
4) “I hope tonight goes better than the last one.”
A first date is about a fresh start so leave the past behind and stay in the moment. Don’t talk about your dating history and if she brings it up then keep it short and simple.
5) “So what do you like to do in bed?”
Dirty talk is something you may be tempted to do because you’re wondering what sex with her is like, especially if you met online and have exchanged naughty messages, but a first date isn’t appropriate for that. The farthest that dirty talk should go is heavy flirting and you need to pay attention to how naughty she wants things to go. Letting her set the pace is going to show her that you’re a nice guy who respects boundaries.
6) “I don’t want any drama.”
Stating upfront on a first date that you don’t want any drama tells her that you have a no nonsense view of dating and that you had a problematic relationship with your ex girlfriend. Women don’t want drama in a relationship either but you mentioning this is going to send up red flags for her and she’s going to think twice about dating you.
7) “I like to have fun and don’t worry about stuff, you know?”
On a first date you want to seem like a laid back, great guy that fun to date but if you emphasize this too much it can make you seem immature. You can tell her you like to have fun and talk about your hobbies but make sure you also mention your job and if you have children that it’s important for you to be a good dad. This makes you sound responsible which is a quality women like in a partner.
8) “It cost a lot but it was worth it.”
You’re going to be talking a lot about yourself on a first date because you’re getting to know one another but if you mention an expensive item you bought or a fancy vacation you just went on you shouldn’t discuss finances. You can casually mention the item but don’t brag about how much it cost because you’re going to sound arrogant and foolish with money.
9) “My brother’s a pain but everyone else is okay.”
Family is important to a lot of people so if this is something you’re going to talk about then you need to do it in a neutral way. Don’t badmouth a sibling or parent if you don’t get along with them because this is a very personal issue and you shouldn’t be talking about it on a first date. It’s better to say you’re not comfortable talking about it right now than discussing family problems.
10) “I’m selective about who I date.”
You might think it’s a good idea to say you’re selective about who you date because it makes you sound serious about dating but it can make her think you’re too picky and that she can’t live up to your standards. Instead of talking about what qualities you want in a partner, you should mention why you think you’d make a great couple so she understands why you asked her out.
11) “Let’s keep things casual.”
On a first date it’s a good idea to establish the kind of relationship you’re looking for so there’s no confusion but being crass about it by saying you want to keep it casual or by using dirty talk is going to turn her off. If you want something casual then say that you’re not ready for anything too serious right now but that you’re open to the idea of it happening.
She is working as writer for diferent websites. She has published many hand-books about adult dating and relationships.
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