13 BDSM ideas for vanilla couples to improve their sex life
Sex can become boring for vanilla couples after they’ve been together for awhile and BDSM could be a way for them to make things exciting again. They can try fun toys like nipple clamps or paddles or kinkier things like a bondage harness or pegging. It’s all about finding what interests you and trying to see if you can add a few new things to your sex life.
1) Nipple clamps
You can get different types of nipple clamps, including ones that you can gradually tighten during to sex to increase the pain and ones that have bells to add fun or humiliation due to the sound they make or weights attached to them to pull down on the most sensitive part of your breasts. You can gently smack the breasts while they’re on which will add pain and if the clamps are attached by a chain you can gently tug on it during sex.
2) Bondage harness
You can wear it by itself or on top of clothes, depending on what you’re comfortable with. It looks kinky and just seeing your partner wear or wearing it yourself and feeling the leather press against your skin can be arousing. The harness is made so that it can be used to restrain and you put your arms behind your back, pulling the straps around them and your body instead of only around your body so it keeps them in place.
3) Choking or slapping
With choking or slapping you can start out lightly then gradually get rougher then stop when they’ve reached their limit. If you choke them during sex they’ll naturally feel a rush from fear which will heighten their senses. You can put your hands evenly over their neck and slowly squeeze before stopping. With slapping you can use a flat hand and hit them across their face, breasts or ass to give them a sharp jolt of pain.
4) Spanking
With spanking you need to start out slow so they can get used to the feeling and so you don’t injure them. By starting with light spanks blood rushes to the area which desensitizes it a bit and it’s not such a shock to their system like it would be if you started with hard spanks. Over time the area will become tender and the spanks will be more painful. You can use spanking as part of roleplay during a punishment scenario and you can take on the role of angry parent, teacher or boss.
5) Bondage
You can use handcuffs, bondage tape or other styles of restraints during bondage to make your partner feel helpless. Use handcuffs to secure them to the headboard or put their arms behind their back during sex so you’re in control of what happens. Bondage tape can be used to secure them in various ways and is an easier method for bondage since it’s more pliable. You can secure their wrists together, their ankles or whatever you can think off.
6) Latex
Latex is a classic BDSM look and there are lots of different outfits to choose from such as a latex catsuit with strategically placed zippers or a tight latex dress that shows off your curves. Latex also feels nice to touch because it’s a smooth, slick sensation and you can rub your body against your partner or use latex gloves to play with their genitals because it’ll give a tugging sensation on the skin.
7) Pegging
Pegging puts women in a dominant position and men in a submissive one because you’re in charge by wearing a strap-on and having anal sex with him. You can add humiliation by calling him names and taking him doggy style or make it more romantic by going slowly and in the missionary position. This will give his prostate some sensation which feels good and he may orgasm from it.
8) Mistress and Submissive
Give each other assigned roles for the night by becoming Mistress (or Master) and Submissive. Have the submissive address their partner by their title and enforce signs of submissiveness such as not making eye contact, kneeling and obeying orders without questions. By having one person in control there’s a power play which is exciting to the dominant and a comforting feeling to the submissive as they give themselves to someone they love and trust.
9) Biting
Biting is easy to do during foreplay or sex because you can do this to nearly every part of their body and you can choose how rough you are. You can tease them during foreplay by giving them light nibbles on their neck, breasts or inner thighs that will make them desperate for more and you can listen to them moan and beg. You can bite down hard and cause them pain to their most sensitive areas as long as you don’t break the skin.
10) Sensation play
Sensation play can be done once your partner has been restrained because it give them little touches that will make them crave more and after awhile they won’t be able to take it anymore. You can restrain their arms to the headboard and use a blindfold and gag so they can only rely on touch and do things like slowly slide a feather over their body, pinch their nipples or stroke their inner thighs.
11) Candle wax
Having candle wax dripped on you is painful and you need to make sure you use the right type of candles to avoid serious burns. Make sure they’re lying still and hold the candle a fair distance above them because the wax will cool slightly as it falls and the height will lessen the chance of burns. Tip the candle and let the wax drip slowly onto their body on a broad area like their torso.
12) Whipping
Whipping is for those who enjoy pain because the thinness of the whip causes a sharper pain. You need to practice using the whip beforehand so you know how to control it and make sure there’s a safety word in case they can’t handle it. You can have them bend over or lie on their stomach so you can whip their ass or back. Do it once then a few more times if they’re okay with it.
13) Cross-dressing
Some men enjoy cross-dressing because they find it humiliating or because they feel a sense of power by wearing things that they shouldn’t be. You can make them wear lingerie and tease them by calling them names or turn them on by stroking them through their silky soft panties. You can also turn them into a sissy by completely turning them into a woman with makeup, wigs and a girly name.
She is working as writer for diferent websites. She has published many hand-books about adult dating and relationships.
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