7 Relationship blunders no one over 40 should make
By the time you’re over 40 you should have enough relationship experience to know what mistakes you should avoid making so that you can have a long lasting and fulfilling relationship. This is important because when you get older it’s good to have a partner you truly love, can spend quality time with and can rely on. If you keep making the same mistakes you did when you were younger you’re going to end up alone in your old age which is a painful and difficult experience that you don’t want to have.
1) Expecting a perfect partner
You’ll have a list of qualities that you look for in a partner and this is a good thing because it stops you from wasting time on dating people who aren’t compatible with you. One mistake that people over 40 make with this list is using it as a hard guideline and rejecting everyone they don’t consider to be perfect. You need to have an idea of the type of person you want to date but understand that it’s unrealistic to find a perfect partner and that you need to be willing to overlook small flaws when you’re in a relationship.
2) Playing hard to get
Playing hard to get can make dating fun and exciting but when you’re over 40 acting this way you just seem sad and desperate to potential partners. You come across as being immature and having no confidence which is not the impression you want to make at the start of a relationship. They’re not going to put up with this behaviour for very long and will end things with you instead of playing childish games. You need to realize that dating changes as you get older and by the time you’re over 40 you should be serious and reliable so that you can attract the right kind of person. Be honest about how you feel and only go out with them if you’re serious about seeing if there’s a connection between the two of you.
3) Trying to change your partner
Most people are set in their ways when they’re over 40 and they’re less open-minded and willing to change. This is why you can’t be in a relationship with someone that you’re mostly unhappy with but are hoping will change over time. You’ll stay with them because you’re in love but if you try to change them it’s not going to work because they’re happy with who they are. They’re going to get annoyed by you meddling with their behaviour and the effect it has on their confidence so they’re going to start picking on you as a way of defending themselves. Things are going to get bad between the two of you and it won’t get better until you either break up or accept each other for the way you are.
4) Believing in a fairy tale romance
Young people always believe in a fairy tale romance because they see fantasized versions of love on TV and in movies and think that real life examples of bad relationships are just a fluke and won’t happen to them. People who are over 40 should have enough dating experience to know that every relationship has its ups and downs and they’ll never have a fairy tale romance. If you still hold onto this fantasy then you’re setting yourself up for failure. You won’t make an effort at a good relationship because you don’t see it as special and the other person will notice this. You’re going to get upset when things don’t go right and you’ve never going to be satisfied in your relationship because you have unrealistic expectations that you should’ve let go of by now.
5) Not practicing open and honest communication
When you’re over 40 you should know how important communication is, especially to intimate relationships, and that not being open and honest with your partner can cause a lot of damage. If you don’t have these skills when you’re over 40 you need to start learning them so that you can improve how you talk to your partner so that your relationship will get better. It’s going to be difficult and awkward but you can’t use that as an excuse not to do it. You need to learn how to express yourself in a calm and clear way and you need to know how to properly listen to your partner because it’s more than just sitting there while they talk, it actually involves you understanding what they’re saying, remembering what’s important to them and using body language to show that you’re listening.
6) Not knowing how to compromise
People over 40 tend to cling tightly to their beliefs and behaviours because it’s a big part of who they are but they should be able to know how and when to compromise. It’s something that they’ve needed to do throughout their life and if they don’t have this skill by the time they’re over 40 then it’s going to be tough being in a relationship with them. You don’t want to be in a one-sided relationship where your partner feels like they have to always do what you want because that isn’t healthy and will cause them to resent you. When the two of you can’t agree on something you need to think about how important it is to you and find a compromise that makes both of you happy.
7) Ignoring sensitive issues
Ignoring sensitive issues is something you shouldn’t be doing when you’ve over 40 because you know that it’s going to make things worse over time. If you don’t like talking about being monogamous, marriage, moving in together, sharing financial responsibilities or other delicate topics then you need to push your personal feelings aside and deal with them. These are important things to discuss in your relationship before things get too serious because you need to know if the two of you are on the same page. If you ignore these issues then they’re going to come up unexpectedly and you’re not going to know how to deal with it which is going to cause fighting between you and your partner.
She is working as writer for diferent websites. She has published many hand-books about adult dating and relationships.
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