Are you coming on too strong? 7 Mistakes that men often make when flirting
When you’re flirting you need to find the right balance between being a gentleman and a man who knows what he wants. This helps you make a good impression and increases your chance of making a connection with a sexy woman and going out on a date with her.There are some behaviours that women consider as coming on too strong so you need to find out what they are and make sure you’re not doing them when you’re making your move.
1) You’re too confident
Confidence is a very sexy trait and women love a man who is naturally this way but will immediately lose interest in someone who has too much of it. Women don’t want a man who thinks flirting is about them acting like they’re perfect boyfriend material and talking about all of their good qualities because that comes across as arrogance. When you’re flirting you need to be low-key confident and do subtle gestures like standing up straight, smiling, making eye contact and speaking with a clear tone of voice while smoothly keeping the conversation going. You should talk a little bit about yourself but also take them time to find out more about her.
2) You expect her to want you
Depending on the circumstances, some men expect women to be dazzled by them and this comes across when they’re flirting. They see a single woman sitting by herself and think she’s going to be glad of the company or they know they’re good looking or have a successful career and see themselves as a catch and focus on this when they’re talking to her. It’s clear to her that you think she’d be lucky to end up in a relationship with you and that’s an attitude problem she doesn’t want to deal with. You need to act humble when you’re flirting and say that you understand if you’re not her type or that a beautiful girl like her is probably used to guys hitting on her but you thought you’d take a chance anyways.
3) You’re the only one flirting
If you’re the one who is doing all of the flirting then it’s a sure thing that you’re coming on too strong so you need to pay attention to your actions and make changes when necessary. You’re doing all of the flirting because you’re dominating the conversation or you’re trying to avoid an awkward silence because she’s not flirting back. Either way, this isn’t going to make her feel calm and interested in you because women don’t like this forceful behaviour from men. You need to be laid-back and give her a chance to say something so that she doesn’t feel pressured by you and not everything needs to involve flirting. Talk about normal everyday things, like something you saw on TV or what you plan on doing this weekend then add a sexy smile or flirty comment when it’s a good time to do so.
4) You think dirty talk is okay
Dirty talk shouldn’t be done when you’re flirting with someone for the first time because it gives the wrong impression and makes her think you’re a desperate loser who only cares about sex. No matter how sexy she is or how much you want to hookup with her you need to be polite and not cross the line because you can be more sexual later on when it’s appropriate. When you’re flirting you need to keep the tone light and you can tell her she’s pretty but don’t go farther than that because she already knows you’re attracted to her.
5) You’re dominating the conversation
You can’t dominate the conversation when you’re flirting because it makes her feel put on the spot and uncomfortable. You may think you’re letting her know you’re interested in her by asking her lots of questions, like what she does for a living or what her hobbies are, but it’s too much all at once. You can get to know her better on the date and find out if she’s relationship material then and leave this time for breaking the ice. Talk to her in a similar way as you would a friend but with some light flirting thrown in so that both of you can have a good time. She needs to have an active role in the conversation so that she feels like an equal and knows that if she goes out with you that you’re not going to be too controlling.
6) You don’t give her time to think
Some women need time to think before deciding to go out with someone new so when you’re flirting you need to keep this in mind. The goal of flirting is to show you’re interest in her and make her think you’re a good guy to spend time with, it’s not about quickly saying something sexy and arranging a date right then and there. If things are going good between the two of you but you don’t want to be coming on too strong you can end the conversation by giving her your number and telling her to get in touch if she’s interested in getting to know you better. This lets her go home and re-play the conversation and think about why you’re a good match for her which makes her more confident about seeing you again.
7) You woo her with drinks and not personality
If you’re in a place like a bar or a club then you may break the ice by buying her a drink but you shouldn’t go overboard because you don’t want to get her drunk. If she gets drunk she may regret going out with you once she sobers up and if she doesn’t get drunk but you keep offering to buy her a drink then she may think you’re a creepy guy who thinks women are easier when they’re full of alcohol. Offer to buy her one drink then spend the rest of the time getting to know each other. A small amount of alcohol will help both of you relax but you’ll still be able to have a good time and show her that you’re a normal, nice guy she can relate to.
She is working as writer for diferent websites. She has published many hand-books about adult dating and relationships.
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