7 Signs your partner is selfish in bed and how to tell them to step it up
Having a partner that is selfish in bed can take a toll on your relationship because it makes you feel unloved and unwanted and you start seeing yourself as someone they just use for their own pleasure. Skipping foreplay, making it all about their desires and climax and ignoring you after sex will happen now and again but this shouldn’t be a routine way of having sex. If they’re regularly selfish in bed then you need to tell them to step it up because you have needs too and you deserve to be satisfied just as much as they do.
1) They skip foreplay
A partner that is selfish in bed will always skip foreplay if they’re already in the mood because they don’t care if you’re aroused or not. They’re only thinking about how they feel and expect you to go along with whatever they want because they’re used to it being this way. You can deal with this by taking control when at the beginning of sex by being the one who makes the first move and starts with foreplay. If they try to rush you then you can keep going but moan sexily as you tell them to be patient, you want to make them feel good. While you’re touching them you can put their hands on your body to show them what you want so they can get more involved in the foreplay. They’ll see how enjoyable it is and will be less selfish in bed the next time you have sex.
2) They want but never give oral sex
Oral sex is something that a lot of men love and expect from their partner but a smaller amount of men will perform oral sex in return. They either don’t care that it can bring their partner pleasure, they think it’s gross or that it isn’t manly to cater to a woman’s needs. To change the way your partner thinks you need to be upfront about what you need and tell them that you want them to sometimes perform oral sex on you because it’s something you like and it would make you happy if they were more willing to do it.
3) They only think about their climax
Having a climax is seen by many as the main point of having sex and people who are selfish in bed are focused on achieving that goal while forgetting about the pleasure you can have getting to that point as well as forgetting that it isn’t just about their climax. If your partner treats sex like a marathon and does whatever they can to reach their climax while doing nothing to help you get there too then you’re going to want less sex which will damage your sex life and relationship. You can tell your partner to stop doing this by paying attention to how they are during sex and when you know they’re about to climax you can ask them to slow things down. Tell them you’re getting close and get them into the same rhythm as you by change the pace of your movements. You have to make them go at a pace that helps both of you climax otherwise they’re going to keep being selfish in bed.
4) They never make love
Making love and having sex are two different things and someone who’s selfish in bed won’t know the difference. Having sex is an act where one of both of you climax but making love is an emotional experience that brings you closer together. Men tend to like having sex but making love is an important part of relationships for most women. They want to be caressed, have foreplay be told they’re beautiful or sexy and spend meaningful time having sex and they won’t get that experience if their partner is selfish in bed. If your partner is like this then you need to tell them what you want and why it’s important to you so they understand why they need to change the way they have sex.
5) There’s no emotion from them
Someone who’s selfish in bed will only think about satisfying themselves and having a climax, which makes them focus too much on the sex act itself. They forget about their partner’s needs and they show little emotion during sex, which makes it a less than enjoyable experience. You should feel loved and wanted during sex and if your partner doesn’t make you feel this way then you need to be honest about what changes they need to make without making them think you’re mad or upset at them. Tell them that you think it’s sexy when they’re more passionate, that you want to be told you’re sexy or loved and that you want them to make eye contact when they’re making love to you because it feels like you belong to them. This will stir up their excitement and they’ll want to make more of an effort.
6) They ignore your desires and fantasies
Everyone has sexual desires and fantasies, from oral sex to BDSM, and a fulfilling sex life is one where you can explore these in a healthy way with your partner. That won’t happen if the person you’re with is selfish in bed because they act like it’s all about what they want and they’ll be upfront about asking for it but they’ll never take the time to explore your desires. You’ll feel like you’re having sex just to make them happy but you can stop this by being more vocal about what you want. To get them interested in your desires you can make it sound like it’s a good way to improve your relationship and make it clear that you want to have a fun exciting sex life that will make you want them even more.
7) They forget about you after sex
The time after sex is when a woman feels most vulnerable because the rush of endorphins start to wear off, they may be embarrassed about losing control during the moment and they need to know that they’re safe and loved. This is why many women like to cuddle after sex and if you’re one of those who need affection after sex but aren’t getting it then you need to make sure your partner stops being selfish in bed after he’s had his climax. You need to be the one who snuggles up to him or do what feels right for you after sex and if he moves away you should gently ask him to be closer to you because you need him right now.
She is working as writer for diferent websites. She has published many hand-books about adult dating and relationships.
- 10 Tips to be attractive to a woman if you are ugly - December 19, 2021
- 8 Reasons why you should date a nerdy guy - December 5, 2021
- 10 Things men can do to get a second date - November 28, 2021
