7 Things you should try before breaking up
A divorce is tough on everyone involved and most people want to try and fix the relationship before it gets to that point. There isn’t one solution that will work for everybody but there are a few things you can try to get things back on track.
1) Talking it through
There needs to be understanding between you and your partner on why things aren’t working out so sit down and talk to them about it. Tell them how you’re feeling and thinking then listen to what they have to say. Keep an open mind and don’t interrupt them when they’re talking. This can help them feel like you care enough to make an effort. Find out what’s bothering them and whether or not it’s something that the two of you can fix.
2) Making an effort at sex
Sex tends to become less frequent when a relationship is heading for a break up and it can make your partner feel unattractive or unwanted. If you’re still interested in your partner then make an effort at sex by making it more about her needs. Make her a candle lit dinner then take her to the bedroom where you spend time giving her foreplay that reminds her of how good you can make her feel. Remember to make sure she orgasms first and try to give her multiples to make it even better.
3) Trying kinkier sex
Sometimes problems in a relationship are caused by boredom because the excitement you used to feel is gone. Make things fun again by trying kinkier sex. Explore fantasies together and have it be an experience that brings you closer together. Talk about your secret desire and learn about hers and act them out. This could lead to the two of you looking forward to being together and bring that spark back.
4) Recreate your first date
Before you think about getting divorced you need to think about what made you fall in love with your partner. Remember what your first date was like and recreate it on a night when both of you don’t have plans. Make it about the two of you and see if you can recapture that feeling of falling in love.
5) Couples therapy
If you don’t think dealing with things together will work then consider trying couples therapy. This could help a lot because it’s in a neutral environment and the therapist won’t take sides. Instead they’ll have you talk out your feelings in a calm way and try to see if there are things for you to work on. They might offer exercises for the two of you to do and this can make it easier for you to deal with things.
6) Imagine a future together
When things go wrong in a relationship don’t immediately think of getting divorced. First you need to think about what things would be like if the two of you stayed together. Do you think you love your partner enough to work through the issues and have a long lasting relationship or do you think it’s going to be something that keeps popping up? Be realistic about what a future with your partner would be like and decide if that’s a life you want.
7) Dating other people
You could set boundaries with your partner on how far to go on these dates and whether or not sex will happen on them. Don’t get involved with her dating life and don’t tell her about yours because this needs to be something each of you deal with on your own. Otherwise feelings will get mixed up and it could end up being worse than before.
She is working as writer for diferent websites. She has published many hand-books about adult dating and relationships.
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