8 Post-break up rules actually worth following
Going through a break up can take a big toll on you and you may be tempted to engage in behaviours that are not good for you which is why you need to follow some post-break up rules. You need to take care of your emotional wellbeing, have a no contact rule with your ex and find things that make you happy so you can effectively deal with your break up and you’ll be in the right head space to date again when the time is ready.
1) Instate a no contact rule
Instating a no contact rule is the first thing you should do after a break up because you don’t want to send texts you’ll regret or risk getting back together with them. The relationship ended for a reason and staying in contact with them is just going to add stress and drama to your life. You don’t want to cause any problems or hurt their feelings so don’t tell them you’re enacting a no contact rule and if they contact you before you block them you should politely tell them that you need some time for yourself and you’re not ready to talk to them. By having a no contact rule you’re leaving the relationship behind you and forcing yourself to move on.
2) Look after your emotional wellbeing
Your emotional wellbeing is going to be fragile after you break up with someone because it’s a big change in your life and you’re dealing with the fact that the person you loved is no longer around. You’re going to be feeling a lot of different emotions, from depression and loneliness to regret or anger at how things are now. This can be overwhelming and you’ll struggle with other areas of your life because of your unbalanced emotional wellbeing. You need to take care of yourself after a break up and set boundaries if friends or family try to help you by telling you you’re better off without your ex or that you need to stop moping around. You should let yourself feel all the emotions going through you because dealing with them head on will stop them from flaring up later on or getting worse over time.
3) Enjoy being single
After a break up most people tell themselves that they’re going to spite their ex by enjoying the single life but then they rush into another relationship or stay single but dwell on being alone. You have to be one of those people who follow through on enjoying being single because if you jump back into dating you’re eventually going to miss being single and you’re not giving yourself any time to deal with issues from the break up. You have to get used to being single and spend time doing things that you used to do before you started dating your ex. You’ll see that there’s nothing wrong with being single and that there are many other things that can bring joy and meaning to your life.
4) Accept your role in the break up
Accepting your role in the break up is a rule most people ignore because it’s embarrassing and painful to admit to yourself that you’ve made mistakes but this is something you need to do otherwise you’ll make the same mistakes in your next relationship. If you don’t know what you did that helped lead to your break up then think about all the little things you could have done differently or the difficult moments in your relationship. Don’t focus on what your ex did wrong, be honest about what you did wrong and come up with ways to not repeat your mistakes in the future.
5) Delete all texts, emails and pictures from them
After a break up you should enact a no contact rule and enforce it by deleting their contact information, blocking them on various social media sites and get rid of any reminders of them like pictures, texts and gifts they gave you. They are no longer a part of your life and having reminders of them are going to set you back when it comes to moving on with your life because it’ll disrupt your emotional wellbeing. You want to start fresh and the only thing you should have of your ex is your memories of your time with them.
6) Think about the positive things in your life
Thinking too much about the break up can negatively affect your emotional wellbeing and stop you from moving on. You should spend some time thinking about it because that’s how you process it and deal with it but you also need to make an effort to think about the good things in your life so you don’t get caught up in a depressed state. If you’re struggling to find the positive things you have then look around you and make a list of things that are special to you, like family, friends, your job, hobbies or your health.
7) Don’t have rebound sex
Rebound sex will only make you feel good for a short amount of time and then you either need to have it again or go back to dealing with the break up. It’ll be easier to have rebound sex so you’ll get trapped in a bad cycle which is why you need to avoid doing this. You don’t want to make a mistake by having a one night stand with your ex or having a casual relationship with a someone who isn’t right for you. You need take a break from sex and dating so you can take care of yourself.
8) Do what makes you happy
One way to help your emotional wellbeing after a break up is be being selfish and making it all about you. Spending time doing what makes you happy will help you feel better and show you that your life isn’t over just because your relationship is. Now that you’re single you can do what you want when you want without having to talk to your partner first so take advantage of this. Hang out with your friends more often and go for a fun night out with them, go to the gym or play sports, work on your hobbies or go on a vacation. This will give you something to look forward to and you won’t spend all your time thinking about your ex.
She is working as writer for diferent websites. She has published many hand-books about adult dating and relationships.
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