8 Things that come up when you’re dating a divorced woman
There are certain issues that come up when you’re dating a divorced woman and if you’re not aware of what they are beforehand it can cause problems in the relationship. She’s going to be trying to get used to dating someone new while dealing with emotional baggage and possibly trying to adjust to being a single mom. This is going to affect you and the relationship but if you know what to expect you can be better prepared to be with a divorced woman.
1) She wants to take dating slowly
A divorced woman wants to take things slowly when she starts dating again because it’s another big adjustment to her life. She’s gone from being married to being single and now taking a chance of finding love again. This is going to make her act distant sometimes because she’s trying to sort out her feelings and these moods will suddenly appear and last for varying amounts of time. You can’t take it personally because it’s about her getting used to her new life instead of how she feels about you.
2) You’re going to be taking the lead
After a heartbreak it’s normal to want to protect yourself from it happening again so you close yourself off emotionally and are more selective about who you share personal things with. The divorced woman you’re interested in is going to feel the same way so you’re going to have to take the lead. You’re the one who is going to do most of the meaningful conversations, like talking about work or family, while she listens because she needs time to make sure she can trust you. You’re also going to be the one who calls first to arrange dates because she’s not going to want to seem like a desperate divorced woman looking for a new man.
3) It may be a while before you have good sex
It may be a while before you have good sex together and this can cause tension if you don’t understand why this is happening. The first sexual relationship a divorced woman has is usually awkward at first because she’s not used to easily being with someone new, like the way someone who’s used to short term relationships are. She’s now unsure of her sexual performance because it’s been awhile since she’s had sex and she may be self-conscious because she doesn’t think she’s as pretty as she was the last time she was single. You have to be supportive and let her take the time she needs to form a bond with you before you can expect good sex to happen.
4) You’re not the most important person in her life
When you’re dating you expect it to be about the two of you and making your life work together as a couple but that isn’t how things always are. A divorced woman isn’t going to make you the most important person in her life because she may have children and they come first. She’s also going to take care of herself because she knows she’s been through a difficult experience and needs time to heal. This can be a shock if you’re not expecting this and things aren’t going to change so you need to find a way of making this type of relationship work or decide that being with a divorced woman isn’t for you.
5) Her ex may still be in the picture
If this is your first time dating a divorced woman than you may assume she’s single and her ex is in the past but there are two reasons he may still be an active part of her life. Depending on the circumstances of the divorce there may still be issues to sort out and she’s going to have to spend time dealing with her lawyer or going to court. She may have children with her ex and if that’s the case and he as partial custody then you may run into him now and again when he comes to pick the children up. This means you’re going to be hearing about her ex more than you have with past girlfriends and that can cause jealousy if you suspect she still has feelings for him.
6) She’s dealing with emotional baggage
There’s a lot of emotional baggage after a divorce and this takes time and patience to work through. If the divorced woman you’re interested in is newly single then you may want to move the relationship along slowly. If you rush into dating then it may be too much for her and there’s a good chance of fighting or mood swings because it’s her way of dealing with these overwhelming emotions. By knowing this is what can happen you can set a better pace and build the relationship at a speed you’re both comfortable with.
7) Your friends will doubt the divorced woman’s love
Some people think that a divorced woman only starts dating again because she wants the security of having a man to rely on or is looking for a father figure for her children. At the start of your relationship your friends may think this way and have doubts that her love for you is real. They’re not going to take the relationship seriously and may ask you direct but painful questions, like are you sure she’s right for you or if you think you should trust her. This can cause damage to your friendships if you don’t separate emotions from logic and understand that they’re not being mean, they’re just concerned for you and want to make sure you don’t end up in a bad relationship.
8) You’re going to be compared to her ex
These comparisons are going to be more harsh when it’s a divorced woman tough because her friends see the ex in a bad light and are wondering if you’re the same way. This is going to make it harder for your girlfriend to give herself fully to the relationship because not only is she dealing with her own doubts about how things are going to be different with you but she’s also trusting her friends’ opinions. You have to stick to who you are and don’t be bothered when you get compared to her ex.
She is working as writer for diferent websites. She has published many hand-books about adult dating and relationships.
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