8 Things you shouldn’t do if you are having a new relationship
When you’re starting a new relationship it’s easy to get overwhelmed by excitement and lust but this can lead to you doing things you shouldn’t do. You don’t want to ruin things by playing games or rushing into a more serious situation because that makes the other person think you’re not the right person for them. You need to keep a level head so that you can honestly see whether or not the new relationship has potential and make sure you’re starting things off on the right foot.
1) Playing games
Playing games to make you seem hard to get can be fun and increase the desire the other person has for you but this is a tactic that gets annoying fast. Treating them in a hot and cold way and acting like you’re too busy to talk to them is confusing. It stops being cute and they start doubting how serious you are about the new relationship which stops them from trusting you. This means the two of you can’t build a strong connection and you’ll break up quickly. You need to be serious and show them you’re interested in being their partner, text them back in a timely manner and don’t have drastic changes in how you treat them.
2) Falling in love
Falling in love too soon in a new relationship is going to lead to a broken heart because you’re chasing after a fantasy instead of having a realistic view of how things are. Your emotions take over and you make mistakes like expecting them to feel the same way and doing whatever you can to make the relationship work. You have to keep your heart and brain separate and be objective about how great of a partner they would be and be honest about any flaws they have instead of overlooking them. When you start to lose control you can remind yourself that you don’t know this person very well and that things aren’t guaranteed to work out.
3) Introduce them to friends and family
Introducing a partner is something that should happen later on when you’ve been together for awhile and know you’re in it for the long-term. If you do this in a new relationship you’re taking things too far too fast and this is going to freak out the other person because they think you’re pressuring them into being committed to them. This also puts pressure on them because you’re showing them off to people that they know they need to impress. It’s normal to want to make them be a bigger part of your life but you need to do it when it’s appropriate so that they feel comfortable when it happens.
4) Talk about marriage or children
Talking about looking forward to being married or having children while in a new relationship may seem like a good idea because you want to make sure they want the same things as you do but this is a conversation that needs to wait. If you bring it up too soon they’re going to think you’re only dating them because you need someone to marry or have children with and you don’t really love them. You need to talk about major decisions like this when you’ve been dating for awhile and know that they’re the one you want to spend your life with.
5) Act like the perfect partner
When you’re in a new relationship you want to make a good impression so you act in ways that you normally don’t. You’re trying to be the perfect partner so they fall in love with you but this is setting the relationship up for failure because you’re giving them the wrong idea of who you really are. They’re going to have expectations that you can’t live up to and they’re going to realize you’re just playing games with them. You need to be yourself and accept that the new relationship might not last because you’re not a good fit for each other.
6) Spend all your time together
You want to spend all your time together when you’re in a new relationship because you’re excited and can’t get enough of them. You think about them all the time, constantly text them and spend all your free time with them instead of your friends. There’s an obsession with them because you want to get to know them but doing this too soon is a bad idea. They’re going to feel smothered and will start distancing themselves from you because they need some space. They’re also going to think you have no social life and wonder why you’re clinging to them so much. You need to control yourself and make sure you still find time to be alone and hang out with your friends so that you have balance in your life.
7) Updating social media
Updating your social media to say you’re now in a relationship or adding them as a friend is something that many couples do because you want to let people know about this new chapter of your life. If you add them as a friend and they see you gushing about your new relationship or see old posts about you bad mouthing your ex then they’re going to judge you in a negative way. They think you’re rushing into this relationship or that you’re not a good person after all and won’t give you a second chance. You should only add them as a friend after they’ve had time to get to know you and publicly say you’re in a relationship after you’ve been together for a month or two and commitment has been agreed upon.
8) Treat them like a life partner
When you date someone new you try to include them in your life but you can go too far with this. Talking to them about decisions you need to make, sharing details about your finances, expecting monogamy and calling yourself their boyfriend are ways to strengthen the bond between the two of you but these things are too personal at the beginning. Treating them like they’re your life partner might be how you move the relationship along and establish it as a serious one but this is going to push them away. They want to get to know you before taking the relationship to this level so pay attention to how they treat you and do the same thing so you’re both on the same page.
She is working as writer for diferent websites. She has published many hand-books about adult dating and relationships.
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