8 Tips on how to respond to a woman who flakes on a date
Making a date with a flaky person is a difficult situation to deal with because your feelings are hurt and you may respond in the wrong way when she ends up cancelling at the last minute. There are a few different ways you can respond to her when this happens but you need to make sure you give yourself some time before doing anything. You want time to think and to choose the approach that’s right for you so that the situation’s dealt with in the best way possible.
1) Ask her why she’s being flaky
You don’t want to waste time on someone who is inconsiderate and had no intention of meeting you. It’s possible an emergency really did happen or she’s nervous about meeting a guy from a dating app. Ask her why she cancelled the date and pay attention to what she says because this should give you a feeling about how genuine she’s being. If she’s nervous about meeting you then you can help her feel more comfortable by spending more time talking to her online before setting up another date.
2) Tell her that you’re unsure about her
If she’s the type of person who is flaky about everything and it’s a part of her personality then she may not realize how much it bothers other people. She expects you to be okay with setting up another date but you can’t let her do think this way. You need to explain that you’re no longer sure about meeting her and that you’re using a dating app like adultfriendfinder because you want to meet someone. She’s broken the trust and you’re don’t know if you should be spending time trying to pursue a relationship with her. She needs to understand that her flaky behaviour has made you doubt her intentions.
3) Let her know you’re bothered by it
Having a woman be flaky and cancelling when you were looking forward to going on a date with her is going to bother you. You feel a mix of emotions from anger and confusion to disappointment. You have to deal with these emotions so you can move on and be in the right state of mind to give online dating again. One way to let go of your negative feelings is by confronting her about what she did to you. Let her know in a polite way that you’re hurt by what she did and deserve to be treated with respect since that’s what you showed her. This may cause her to reply to you so listen to what she says but don’t let it go on past that because it’s about venting your emotions, not getting into a blame game.
4) Block her on the dating app
Blocking her on the dating app and anywhere else you’ve contacted her is something you should do if you know you’re no longer interested in seeing her. Don’t send her a message then block her before she can reply because that makes you look childish. Instead, just block her right away because she knows she was flaky and did the wrong thing so she will understand why you’ve done this. This stops you from being tempted to get mad at her or give her another chance and it’s easier for you to clear your head. Don’t let this bad experience get you down about online dating and be willing to give someone else a chance.
5) Tell her what you think of her behaviour
Telling her what you think of her behaviour can help the situation because it lets her know exactly why it upsets you. Try not to get too emotional as you tell her that you think a woman of her age should be able to act in a more mature way and that it would have been nice if she had been upfront sooner about not meeting you. Tell her that online dating is full of people who are timewasters and this makes her no different from them. There’s a good chance she’s been stood up by other people and understands what it’s like so comparing her to them will make her realize just what she’s done. This may motivate her to avoid being flaky in the future.
6) Explain how it makes her look bad
She may not understand just how bad her flaky behaviour makes her look but you can help her by talking to her about it. You can help her see things from your point of view by letting her know that when she suddenly cancels a date without a good reason it makes her seem unreliable and thoughtless which aren’t attractive qualities. It makes her come across as self-centered and since there’s lots of other people on online dating sites it’s unlikely she will get another chance because the other person can easily find someone else. You can also suggest that she should only message people if she’s really willing to meet them instead of rushing into a meeting because taking things slow is better than her letting someone down.
7) Tell her you don’t like her personality
Being blunt and telling her you don’t like her personality is a way you can respond if she tries to get you to re-schedule the date. It puts the blame on her and makes it clear you’re annoyed without being too nasty about it. You can say that you don’t feel like she’s a good match anymore because her flaky personality isn’t something you’re okay with and it’s going to lead to problems. You don’t think a relationship would work out with someone like her and that you’re looking for a woman who’s as serious as you are. You can end it on a friendly note by saying you hope she finds someone else and wish her well on her dating journey.
8) Make it clear there’s no second chance
If being flaky is a deal breaker for you and you’re no longer interested in meeting her then make it clear you’re not giving her a second chance. She may apologize or give you excuses about why she cancelled the date in the hopes that it’ll make you forgive her for what she did. You need to state your boundaries and not let her guilt you into agreeing on a second chance. When she pushes the issue just re-state that you’re not interested and if she doesn’t leave you alone you’ll block her.
She is working as writer for diferent websites. She has published many hand-books about adult dating and relationships.
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