9 Signs your date is going to cancel on you before it starts & why people love to flake
No one wants to look forward to a date and end up spending the night alone because the person they were meeting was a flake. That hurts and is something you want to avoid. It can be hard to see the signs that your date is a flake, especially when you’ve met them on dating websites and can’t see how they are in person, but there are a few things you can look out for.
1) They keep postponing meeting you
It’s only acceptable to postpone a date once and only if it’s for a genuine reason because the first date is when you make the first impression and you want it to be a good one. If your date postpones it a few times and never tells you why then they’re a flake and the date is probably never going to happen. The might do this to you because they’ve lost interest and feel uncomfortable telling you that and they’re hoping you’ll move on. This happen a lot with people who meet on dating websites because excitement wears off quickly once you log off since it’s seen as not being serious.
2) They aren’t as excited as you
Paying attention to their behaviour towards you can give you a good idea if they’re going to flake on you or not. If they’re looking forward to the date they’ll be excited and tell you how much they’re looking forward to it as well as sending you a couple of messages to make sure you’re still interested and that they have the right time and place. If they don’t do this then it’s a sign that you’re not that special to them and they see you as just a hook up.
3) They have a million excuses
A flake will have a million excuses for why they can’t meet or do things like go on cam or send more pictures if you’ve met them on dating websites. They’ll have an excuse ready for any occasion and they’ll keep it vague so it’s easier to remember. Common excuses are that they got an extra shift at work, they need to help a friend or they had a family emergency come up. They choose these excuses because it’s something everyone can relate to and it’s polite not to get too personal by asking them more questions about it.
4) They’re mentally all over the place
People who are mentally all over the place tend to be flakes because they find it hard to concentrate and don’t always realize how important some things are. They’re thinking of all the things they have to do or spend a lot of time daydreaming and trying to get them to commit to a date is difficult because it forces them to make a plan and stick with it which is something they’re not good at doing. You’ll know your date is this type of person if they have a tendency to switch subjects quickly and always seem like they’re busy.
5) They don’t commit to anything
If they can’t commit to simple things like being there for a friend or following through with a small goal then they won’t commit to a date because that’s too unimportant for them. If they joke about their lack of commitment then they’re telling you not to trust them and you need to prepare yourself for the fact that they might cancel your date.
6) They’re slow to reply to your texts
When someone can’t wait to meet you then they’ll text you often to express how much they’re looking forward to it and wanting to talk to you more so they can get a better idea of whom you are. When they don’t do this then it’s because they can’t be bothered and are taking a casual approach to you. The spark between you has faded and now they’re only going on a date with you to see if there’s any attraction left but they’ll end up thinking it’s a waste of time and will cancel. Check your messages and if they take a long time to reply or don’t reply at all then they’re not going to follow through with the date.
7) They act evasive
A big sign that your date is going to cancel is if they act evasive and this happens differently if you know them in real life or if you’ve only met them through dating websites. In person they’ll lean away from you, avoid eye contact and give vague replies to everything you say and if you’re talking to them through dating websites they’ll send short messages, not give direct answers to question you ask and log off quickly when they’re tired of talking to you. They do this because they know they’re going to cancel the date and are trying not to get too close to you.
8) They want to meet far away
A good way to make it clear they don’t really want to meet you is by suggesting you go someplace far away, like a restaurant in the next town over. They’re trying to make you be the one who cancels the date by making it difficult for you to meet them and when you suggest a place that’s nearer they’ll tell you that it has to be the other place because it’s nicer or easier for them to get to. If you don’t cancel then they’re going to wait until the last minute then tell you that something came up and they need to reschedule.
9) You’re the one that always gets in touch
When you’re the one who always gets in touch then you’re more invested in this relationship then they are and it might not even make it to the first date. They don’t care about you and are just going with the flow so you’re the one who has to start conversations, make the plans and try to get them to confirm they’ll meet you. The entire thing will feel one-sided and you’ll tell yourself that they’re shy or nervous but the truth is they don’t really want to meet you and are waiting for the right time to break off the date.
She is working as writer for diferent websites. She has published many hand-books about adult dating and relationships.
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