9 Principles of polyamory that can strengthen any relationship
An open relationship isn’t for everybody but even if you’re in a monogamous relationship you can still learn some lessons from polyamorous couples. Learn about the principles of polyamory and see if you can use them to strengthen your relationship.
1) Your partner can’t fulfill all your needs
Polyamorous couples feel like they can’t expect one partner to fulfill all of their needs because it’s an unrealistic expectation. They understand that their partner has different thoughts, feelings and desires that don’t always match their own. They instead look for people who do match their interests and form relationships with them as a way of getting all of their needs met without forcing everything onto one partner. To strengthen your relationship with your partner you can take a similar approach and make friends with people who share your interests by joining clubs or groups while encouraging your partner to do the same. It’s okay to have outside relationships, non-sexual or sexual, if it’s a healthy lifestyle change.
2) Open and honest communication is important
Open and honest communication is one of the most important things in an open relationship but it should also be that way in a monogamous relationship. Talking about how you feel gives your partner a better understanding about what’s going on and there will be a stronger bond between the two of you. You’ll know each other better and mistakes are less likely to happen because you know what the boundaries are. If there are problems then they’ll be dealt with quickly instead of getting worse because they’ll tell you when something’s wrong and the two of you can effectively talk about it until you find a solution.
3) You can’t change for your partner
Accepting your partner for who they and expecting them to treat you the same way is an important aspect of a successful relationship. If you try to change them or yourself in order to make the relationship work then over time it will lead to problems because you’ll resent them for not allowing you to be yourself. Accept the fact that everyone has flaws and that you need to overlook the small ones because they’re not important but the relationship is. If you feel like your partner is trying to change the way you are or gets frustrated often with you then you need to talk to them about it.
4) You need to know what you want
You need to know what you want otherwise you won’t be able to express yourself clearly to your partner and you’re going to feel unfulfilled which will damage the relationship. By knowing what you want you can get your needs met if you also use open and honest communication. These needs can be sexual, emotional or physical because a relationship is not just about sex but also paying the bills, chores, deciding whether or not to have children, problems at work or with family and so on. Think about your ideal relationship and talk to your partner about what you want so they understand you and make an effort at giving you what you need.
5) You have to want to be in a relationship
A polyamorous relationship is a difficult thing to keep balanced because it involves multiple people and it doesn’t work when someone isn’t as interested in the relationship as the other member. This is why everyone in the relationship chooses to be in it because it makes them happy and they have feelings for all who are involved. You need to take this approach with your relationship and be with your partner for the right reasons. You should never be with someone just because you’re bored, lonely or think that no one else would want you. Instead you should see your partner as someone who completes you and who you want to build a life with. Think about why you’re with them and focus on the positive qualities they bring to your life.
6) Be loving and encouraging
There’s a lot of love, support and encouragement in a polyamorous relationship because it’s about pushing boundaries and finding a lifestyle that you’re happy and comfortable with which can be scary for some people, especially if they’re just starting out in this type of relationship. They make an effort to show their partners that they’re loved and that it’s about more than sex. You can do the same thing with your partner and by making it a regular part of your life you’ll create a stronger bond with them. You can do things like talk to them about how their day went, listen and be supportive when they have problems and be encouraging if they want to try something new. This will make them feel loved and they’ll reciprocate these actions with you so you’ll feel the same way.
7) Spending time apart is a good thing
When you’re in an open relationship you’re not focused entirely on one person and you have opportunities to explore different thoughts, feelings and actions with other people. This gives them an interesting and fulfilling life instead of being too dependent on one person for their happiness. Spending time away from your partner will give you breathing room and a chance to have a life of your own which is a good thing. Make it a point to have some time away from your partner and you can still be monogamous if you want. You can hang out with friends, take a night class, start a new hobby or start an exercise regime to put your attention elsewhere for a while.
8) Everyone is equal
They treat each other with love, they respect boundaries and talk openly about any issues that they have so they can be dealt with. You need to treat your partner as an equal so they feel good about being with you. You need to talk to them about any big decisions before you make them, give them opportunities to make plans too, help out with household chores and listen to them when they need you so they don’t feel alone.
9) Have a healthy sex life
A healthy sex life can keep a relationship fun and keep the intimacy and bond between you strong. This means that everyone’s sexual desires are getting met, boundaries are respected and no one is left feeling frustrated or undesirable. You can work on the sex life you have with your partner by making an effort to be more romantic, having sex more frequently and be more open about talking about sex. Talk to your partner about fantasies you have, ask them about what they’d like to try and make sex a regular part of your life if it’s been lacking lately.
She is working as writer for diferent websites. She has published many hand-books about adult dating and relationships.
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