9 Signs you’re too picky in relationships and how to stop it
Finding the perfect partner is difficult for most people but it’s even harder for those who are too picky because nothing is good enough for them. Try not to laugh but dating apps won’t help you find the perfect partner who meets all of your qualifications, instead they’re a way for you to meet lots of potential partners who may not live up to your high standards. You need to know what makes you too picky and how to stop it otherwise you’re going to end up alone.
1) You think dating apps will help you find the one
You’re the type of person who joins a bunch of dating apps because you think they’ll magically help you find the perfect partner and you get frustrated when it doesn’t happen. It isn’t the dating apps fault because they provide a service that makes it easy to meet lots of hot, single people. Everyone has flaws and you’re supposed to meet people you get along with and whose flaws are small enough not to matter. You need to start using dating apps like adultfriendfinder the way they were meant to be used and meet people that you think you can have fun with and ignore little things that don’t really matter.
2) You spend ages finding the perfect partner
If you spend too much time going to bars or using dating apps like Victoria Milan but never have any success with setting up a first date then it might be because you’re too picky. You need to stop over analyzing potential dates and go out with someone you’re interested in, even if you don’t consider them to be perfect. If the date was good overall then you should ignore the bad aspects of it and focus on what you liked. This could give you motivation to keep trying and understand that the bad things aren’t as important as you think they are.
3) You consider small things to be deal breakers
Everyone has deal breakers but picky people have ones that are small, unimportant things that don’t matter when you’re looking for a serious relationship. You shouldn’t break up with someone just because they have an annoying habit because you probably do things that they don’t like. Think about how much it bothers you and if it’s a big deal to you then talk to them about it. They might not realize they’re doing it and letting them know could save your relationship because they can try to stop doing it.
4) A second date is rare
Second dates are rare for people who are picky because all they can see is the bad in other people and during the first date they’re always looking for a reason not to see them again. If you’re the type of person who seems to never have a second date then you need to think about your role in that. Are you the one who never asks them out again because you realize they’re not as good as you thought they’d be? If so, then you need to start asking them for second dates to see if they’re as bad as you think or if you’re just being too picky.
5) You only focus on the negatives
Focusing only on the negatives will stop you from having a successful date or relationship because you don’t see the point in continuing with it or making an effort. Even though there’s something you don’t like about them or the date there must be something good or else you wouldn’t have gone out with them in the first place. To get out of this habit you can pay attention to your mood and thoughts, when you start to focus on a negative you should stop and try to think of a positive. When you learn to see the good things about your date you’ll realize that you were being too picky and that you actually had a better time than you thought.
6) You have a list of expectations
Try not to laugh but a long list of expectations that your partner must meet won’t lead to you finding the perfect partner. Instead it will make them harder to find because it’s nearly impossible that there’s someone out there who will be everything you want. It’s good to have standards so think about the qualities which are most important to you, such as kindness, a sense of humour, ambition and so on. These should be on a small list of expectations and be flexible about the rest because this will give you more dating options.
7) You don’t rush into relationships
You’re not the type of person who rushes into a relationship or lets themselves get emotionally involved because you think things won’t last long. You think this way because you’re used to relationships being short and it could be your fault for being too picky or unwilling to be more open-minded. You don’t want to get your heartbroken so you keep an emotional distance and make minimal effort. What you need to do is allow yourself to experience your feelings more instead of shutting them down and see your partner as someone that you could have a long term relationship with because getting in the right frame of mind can make a big difference.
8) You try to make your date into the perfect partner
You can’t change someone in a big way to make them the perfect partner, you can only try to get them to change in small ways like by asking them to break a bad habit. Expecting them to change too much will make them leave you because they’ll feel like you don’t really love them. If your partner complains about you never being happy with them or if you’re always asking them to act different then it’s because you’re trying to mold them into what you want. You need to stop doing this and learn to accept them for who they are because it’s unfair to expect them to change just for you.
9) You’re always breaking up with people
When you’re the one who is always ending relationships then there’s a good chance it’s your fault because there’s a reason why it’s one-sided all of the time. Think about your past relationships and why they ended. If it’s over small things then you need to change the way you act during relationships. You should make a list of all the reasons why you broke up with someone and try looking at them like a stranger to get another perspective on your behaviour so you know what you’re doing wrong.
She is working as writer for diferent websites. She has published many hand-books about adult dating and relationships.
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