How to turn down a second date: 9 Non-awkward ways to do it right
One of the most difficult things that can happen when you go out with someone new is realizing each of you feel differently about how the date went. When they want a second date and that’s something you’re not interested in at all you need to find the right way to deal with this situation otherwise you’re going to hurt their feelings or behave in other ways that you’re going to regret. By knowing how to deal with this before it happens you can avoid a lot of awkwardness and leave things on a positive note.
1) Say you feel like there could be a friendship instead
If you enjoyed going out with them but can’t see yourself getting romantically involved you can compromise by considering having a friendship with them instead. When they ask you out for a second date you can tell them that you had a great time with them but that you think you’d get along better as friends instead of lovers. This gives you a chance to get to know them better and over time friendship may turn into love.
2) Let them know you didn’t feel any sparks
The worst thing you can do when someone asks you out for a second date and you’re not interested is to lead them on and give them false hope. You need to be honest and let them know that you didn’t feel any spark or connection with them and that’s why you don’t want a second date otherwise they may think they did something wrong. Not feeling a strong sense of attraction is easy to understand and it won’t lead to any further discussion about it.
3) Blame it on not being over your ex
When you turn down a second date you don’t want to make the other person feel like it’s their fault because they’re going to want to know exactly what they did wrong. This can cause a lot of awkwardness because you’ll have to either tell them the truth and hurt their feelings or try to come up with a convincing lie. A good way to deal with this is by putting the blame on yourself and saying that dating again has made you realize you’re not over your ex and you still need time to deal with the break up.
4) Tell them they’re a great person to be around
Telling someone you don’t want a second date with them is going to be difficult but you can spare their feelings by telling them they’re a great person to be around and that you had a great time on the date. This boosts their confidence and you don’t have to deal with the awkwardness of telling them why you’re not attracted to them. When they ask why you won’t go out with them again even though you like them you can say that you like them but don’t think your personalities are a good match.
5) Be honest about why you don’t want a second date
People can sense when they’re being lied to so if you choose to do that as a way of not seeing them again then there’s going to be a lot of awkwardness as they keep asking you about why you won’t go on another date. It’s going to gnaw at them and they’re not going to be happy until you’ve honestly told them why you don’t want a second date. It doesn’t matter if the truth hurts, to them it’s more important about understanding why things didn’t work out. You can tell them the truth in a kind way by being straightforward but not blaming them for everything.
6) Don’t hesitate when telling them
If you hesitate when telling them you don’t want to go on a second date you’re sending mixed signals and they won’t know if you’re serious or not. This kind of misunderstanding is going to lead to awkwardness because they’ll keep in touch while waiting for you to make your mind up and you’ll have to tell them again, but in a firmer way, that you don’t want to see them again. When you talk to them you need to know exactly what you’re going to say and talk to them in a clear, calm tone.
7) Tell them in person there won’t be a second date
When you share news like this you need to do it in person because this makes it more real to them and they’ll be able to see your body language which lets them know you’re serious and not just playing hard to get. This makes it easy for them to accept and there will be less chance of awkwardness because they’ll be willing to move on.
8) Keep calm and don’t let them change your mind
If the other person has fallen for you then they’re going to be insistent on a second date and won’t take “No.” for an answer. They’re going to try and make you change your mind by making you feel bad for rejecting them, telling you why they’d be a great person to date and harassing you with texts. They’re going to keep increasing the amount of awkwardness you feel as a way to make you give in and do what they want. When this happens you need to keep calm and be firm about not oing on a second date with them and block them online if you need to.
9) Use positive body language and tone of voice
You want to avoid the awkwardness of hurt feelings or a fight when you let them know you won’t be going on another date with them and you can do this by keeping the mood as light as possible. You have to pay attention to your body language because you want to be friendly and laid back so give them a small smile and make eye contact. You also need to use an upbeat tone of voice but don’t go overboard because you don’t want to seem too happy. You want to convey that you think this is the right decision to make and wish them well on their dating journey.
She is working as writer for diferent websites. She has published many hand-books about adult dating and relationships.
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