9 Secrets about dating a highly sensitive person
Dating a highly sensitive person is different than dating someone who’s less sensitive because they deal with things in certain ways. You’re going to notice this as the relationship progresses but if you know what to expect beforehand it can make a big, positive difference because you can understand them better. These secrets, like knowing how deeply words affect them and how well they pay attention to your body language, can help you be a supportive partner.
1) They take what you say to heart
A sensitive person takes what others say to heart, it’s more personal for them and it affects them more than other people. You need to know this secret about them because when you’re dating you have to be mindful of what you say, even if it’s a joke or an off-handed comment that you immediately forget. Words are tied to emotion when you’re a HSP (Hightly Sensitive Person) so what you say can cause your partner to feel sad or hurt without you realizing it. You have to think before you speak and only say what you mean so that you don’t accidentally send the wrong message or cause any problems.
2) They notice your emotional changes
They notice when something is bothering you and you’ll be surprised when they ask if everything is okay because you’ll think it’s not a big deal or that you’re dealing well with it. They care about you and this makes them hyper-aware of small changes, from the way you talk to your body language. Your emotions affect them and it bothers them to know you’re upset so they do whatever they can to help you.
3) It’s easy for them to feel smothered
It’s easy for a sensitive person to feel smothered because they feel things more acutely. Actions that you consider to be loving, like snuggling after a long day at work or always asking if they’re alright, will make them feel like you’re crowding them. They know you don’t mean it to be that way but they need some time to themselves so they can process what they’re feeling. They’re overwhelmed in general and you’re making it worse which makes them agitated. You have to pay attention to their mood and back off when you need to without them having to ask you.
4) They may identify as demisexual
Your partner may identify as a demisexual because this is someone who needs an emotional connection before they’re able to feel sexual attraction. Since it’s emotion based, a highly sensitive person may be the right fit for this orientation because their emotions are a major part of their life and the decisions they make. This is an important secret to know because it can take them awhile to get close to you and this distance can make you think they’re not interested in you when they really are.
5) You’re be the outgoing one
You’re the outgoing one when you’re dating a HSP because you’re naturally able to deal with social situations better and make decisions without struggling with your emotions. A sensitive person can get stressed out from interacting with many people because they’re surrounded by a mix of emotions and they find it hard to just focus on themselves. This can make them avoid social situations or prefer to spend time with people they know very well. It’s also hard for them to make decisions because they think of all the options and the feelings that come along with them and worry about what the best one would be. This makes them a homebody and you’re the one who wants to go out and have fun.
6) They don’t like surprises
A lot of people think surprises are a good thing if they’re done with the right intention but a sensitive person sees them differently. It’s a sudden experience that they’re not prepared for and they need time to deal with the surge of emotions and thoughts. It doesn’t matter what the surprise is, it’s not going to be something they’re okay with until they’ve had time to regain control. You have to remember they don’t see things the way you do and avoid surprising them even if you think it’ll be something they like. If you want to surprise them you should drop hints ahead of time or ask them outright what you want to do, it’ll ruin the surprise but they’ll be able to appreciate more what you have planned.
7) They hide their feelings
Everyone hides their feelings now and again but a sensitive person does it often. They’re used to being told they’re too sensitive or to not take things so seriously and this makes them self-conscious. They hide their feelings because they don’t want you to criticize them or think less of them and this makes it hard for you to know what’s going on. You need to pay attention to their body language and listen carefully to what they say if you want to know how they really feel. When you talk to them about a problem they’re dealing with you need to be patient and supportive because it’s difficult for them to open up and express everything in a clear way.
8) Your body language tells them a lot
When you’re dating a sensitive person, they’re going to be paying more attention to the little things than your previous partners. They’re in tune with the signs they get from body language and will be watching you as a way of learning more about you. They notice when you suddenly seem happy and this feeling rubs off on them and they see when your smile isn’t genuine which makes them wonder what they can do to cheer you up. Subtle differences are things they easily pick up and they’ll take the initiative when it comes to figuring out what’s wrong and finding a solution.
9) They always avoid fights
Fighting is a trigger for a HSP because it’s intense and it takes them a long time to get past the rush of emotions. It’s even worse when there’s yelling because it has an overall affect on their body. Their emotions are at a high, they’re on edge and it’s difficult to keep control. They don’t like how this feels and will do what they can to avoid fighting. You need to be aware of this because this means that problems will be ignored and will get worse until it turns into an even bigger issue. You have to find a way to deal with problems in a calm, quiet way so that fights are avoided and the two of you learn how to communicate better.
She is working as writer for diferent websites. She has published many hand-books about adult dating and relationships.
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