Dating an extrovert (8 Stress-free ways for success)
It can be stressful to be dating an extrovert when you’re naturally the opposite in behaviour because your partner doesn’t understand why you’re uncomfortable in certain situations. This can cause you to be put into social situations you’d rather avoid and you may get upset at your partner for not being thoughtful of your needs. You don’t want to end up hating the person you love or ruin something good. You have to know how to deal with this so that it doesn’t put a strain on your relationship and the two of you can have fun without any worries.
1) Make it clear that you’re shy
When you’re dating an extrovert, you have to be clear about how you feel because they may not realize how serious you are. They may think you’re not as outgoing as they are but it’s not a big deal. You need to tell them that you’re shy and struggle with social situations so you’d rather avoid them and only spend time with close friends. You should also ask that they tell you in advance, if they’re planning on having date night in a public place or if the two of you will be hanging out with people you don’t know so that you can mentally prepare yourself. This helps them understand that dating an extrovert isn’t easy for you and they need to be more thoughtful with what goes on.
2) Let them know when you’re getting stressed
You have to learn how to deal with your stress in a healthy and can try meditation or breathing exercises to help calm you down. Letting your partner know when you’re getting stressed out is important to dealing with it because part of it may be their fault. Tell them you’re feeling anxious and what’s causing it so they know what’s a trigger for you. This gives them an idea of what you are and aren’t comfortable with and they can make sure not to put you in a similar situation later on.
3) Have a discreet signal for social situations
Having a discreet signal that only you and your partner know can help a lot in social situations and make dating an extrovert easier on you. This can be a verbal signal, a vague phrase you can slip into a conversation like “Remind me to text Jess later.” so it doesn’t seem out of place. It can also be a visual signal, like scratching your arm or discreetly touching their hand so it’s noticeable to both of you but no one else. By doing this you can get out of social situations when they become too difficult without drawing attention to how shy you are.
4) Don’t get upset when they leave you alone
After you’ve been dating an extrovert for awhile they’re going to know what you don’t enjoy doing and they’re going to stop inviting you along when they’re going someplace that will trigger you. They’re not doing it to be mean, they don’t want you to feel pressured into going with them and will let you know they’ll be spending a couple of hours with friends. They see it as a good thing; you don’t have to go someplace that makes you uncomfortable and they still get to do things they like. You have to see this in the way that it’s intended and don’t get upset because spending time alone is best for this type of situation.
5) Push yourself to be more outgoing
There’s going to be a lot of situations you’re not used to when you’re dating an extrovert because they like going out, >seeing people and trying new activities. They crave this lifestyle and is a part of who they are so it’s going to become a regular part of your life. Problems are going to arise in your relationship if you say “No.” whenever they want to do these activities with you because eventually you’ll drift apart and they’ll want a partner they can spend time with. You have to push yourself to be more outgoing and overcome being shy so that you can compromise and do activities that make your partner happy. This is tough at first but you’ll get used to it and there will be a better balance in your relationship.
6) Don’t pretend to be okay
Pretending to be okay is a bad thing to do when you’re dating an extrovert because they’re not going to realize when you’re going through a rough patch. This leads to misunderstandings and you’ll be forced into social situations often because they don’t know how much it bothers you. You can’t hide how you feel even though you don’t want to cause problems by cancelling plans or leaving someplace early. When you’re tempted to say you’re okay when you’re not, you have to take a deep breath to overcome your natural urge to ignore what’s going on. You have to learn to speak up and accept that it’s going to put your partner’s attention on you because they need to be aware of how you really feel.
7) Be the one who plans date night
You have to take some control when you’re dating an extrovert so you don’t end up in situations you’re not comfortable with. You can do this by being the one who plans date night so you know exactly what to expect. You have to make sure you don’t make it all about you and only do more quiet and laidback activities because they’re going to miss doing more exciting things. You need to find a balance between outgoing activities and ones that are more suited for you. You can find balance by choosing something that your partner enjoys and that you can tolerate the most easily so it’s not a terrible date for you.
8) Accept that you’re dating an extrovert
Accepting that you’re dating an extrovert is something you need to do because it’s not right for you to try to change their behaviour just because it’s different from yours. If you ask them to be less outgoing it’s going to affect your relationship because they feel like you don’t love them for whom they are and you’re repressing them. They’re going to miss how their life was before they met you and a break up will happen quickly. You need to find a way to live with them and make an effort to deal with any issues right away so that it doesn’t become a bigger problem later on.
She is working as writer for diferent websites. She has published many hand-books about adult dating and relationships.
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