Online Dating: 7 things to say in your first message
The best online dating sites allow you to quickly and easily message the people you’re interested in which is great unless you don’t know what to say. Your online profile won’t be enough to get someone’s attention so you need to make sure that you say the right things in your first message to them to increase your chances of making them notice you.
1) Your name
This may seem obvious but most people don’t bother putting their name and think their username is good enough. A lot of people choose usernames that aren’t their actual name though and people like to know who they’re talking to. Introduce yourself so they feel a personal connection with you.
2) Something lighthearted and funny
It’s always awkward breaking the ice with a stranger but try making a joke or a lighthearted comment. This will show them that you have a good sense of humour and are a fun person to spend time with. Stay away from anything that might controversial and remember that it doesn’t have to be a joke. It could just be a funny remark about their favourite TV show or sports team. Try to make them laugh.
3) What type of relationship you’re looking for
People will usually read your message before looking at your profile so mention what you’re interested in. This will give them an idea of whether or not you might be right for them and will help them decide if they want to reply back. Keep it simple like “I’m looking for something casual with the right woman.” This will tell her what you’re looking for but also gives the impression that you’re not sleeping with as many women as you can.
4) Interests that you share
Mention any interests that you share with them and be enthusiastic about it. This will show them that you read their online profile and that you’re someone they can relate to. If it’s a hobby that people can do together, like hiking or rock climbing at the sports centre then suggest meeting up soon and doing it together. Having your first meeting as a date can be a bit scary but this casual setting may make them more likely to think about spending time with you.
5) What you like about them
A lot of people write generic messages so they can send it to as many people as they can but taking the time to make it personal will give you a better chance of receiving a reply. Tell them what it was that got your attention but don’t mention anything about their looks. You don’t want them to think you only see them as a sex object so stick to things that relate to their personality. Do they talk about having a pet or doing volunteer work? tell them that you think it’s great to be an animal lover or that it’s wonderful that they put their time aside to help others.
6) Ask a question
By ending your message with a question you’re helping them figure out what to say in their response to you. You could save one of your common interests for this part and say “Maybe you’d be interested in hanging out sometime and going for a hike?” Keep it casual so you don’t sound desperate.
7) That you hope to hear from them while wishing them well
You’ve given them an idea for their message but you also need to take the pressure off so they don’t feel forced to answer you.
End the message on a light note by saying “Hope to hear from you soon but if not then good luck on your search.” This will finish your message on a friendly note and will make you sound like an easy going person who isn’t begging for an answer.
She is working as writer for diferent websites. She has published many hand-books about adult dating and relationships.
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