Is your new relationship moving too fast? 10 Ways to slow things down a bit
When you’re starting a new relationship it’s easy to get caught up in the excitement and move faster than you were expecting to. When you realize this is happening it can quickly ruin things by making you nervous and afraid of how you were able to lose control or start making you feel smothered. You don’t want to break-up with them just because things are moving too fast so you need to find ways to take the relationship back to a more comfortable pace. There are a variety of ways to do this and it can make a great improvement to your new relationship and give it the breathing space it needs to flourish.
1) Tell them you want to slow things down
Being honest about how you feel is one of the best things you can do because it shows them you care enough to talk to them about it and it gives them a chance to talk about how they feel. This can be the first time in your new relationship that you have a serious talk so make sure you don’t act too upset and take a calm approach as you explain how you feel then ask about their feelings. This relaxed atmosphere is so they don’t think you’re trying to break-up with them and they’re going to appreciate having their opinion heard.
2) Spend more time with friends
When you’re in a new relationship you spend a lot of time together because your interest is piqued and you can’t get enough of them so when you want to slow things down you need to force yourself to spend time apart. When you have an urge to see your partner you need to think about why that is because if it’s not for a good reason, like a planned date or it’s been a few days since you last saw each other, then you can do something that doesn’t involve them. Spend more time with friends but explain to your partner why you’re doing this so they don’t think you’re mad at them and being passive-aggressive.
3) Take some time to get perspective
You’re going to lose perspective when things move too quickly in a new relationship because your emotions are taking control and you’re no longer thinking clearly. You need to figure out why things are moving too fast because once you understand this it’s going to be easier to stop what you’re doing. Ask yourself if you’re rushing things because you’re scared of being single, if you want to forget about your ex or if you’re letting lust take over. Deal with the issue that you single out because this will help you see the new relationship more clearly and you won’t feel the need to rush things along.
4) Put your excitement to other use
You’re going to break-up sooner than you think if you don’t put your excitement to other use because it’s just a matter of time before you get burned out. This is why you should use that energy for other uses, not only will you spend time apart but you also get to work on other things that you enjoy. When you’re feeling restless you need to resist the urge to see your partner and instead do things like exercising, tackling chores or working on your hobbies.
5) Set a texting limit
You text a lot in a new relationship because it’s a quick and easy way to keep in touch with them and this is helping things move faster. Setting a texting limit will slow things down because it’s putting a mental and emotional distance between the two of you. It gives you a chance to really think about how you feel and be more selective about what you say. After doing this for awhile you realize that your new relationship is fine going at a slower pace.
6) Have a weekly date night
You need to be proactive in slowing things down in a new relationship and tell your partner that you’re only going to see each other once or twice a week. These will be your weekly date nights and you’re going to stick to this routine until you feel like it’s time to change the frequency of them. This can come across as being passive-aggressive because you’re telling them that you want to see them but only on your schedule so explain the reason for it.
7) Stop planning for the future
You’re moving way too fast in a new relationship if you make plans for the distant future because you don’t even know if you’ll still be together then. You need to stop doing this and only make plans for the near future and never plan more than a month in advance. You need to remember that there’s plenty of time to do things as a couple when both of you are ready for a more serious relationship.
8) Set boundaries
Setting boundaries is important if you want to slow things down and this habit will also help you later on in the relationship because they know you expect your boundaries to be respected. Tell them that you think things are moving too fast and you want to change the pace to one that’s more right for you. Let them know when they’re rushing you and ask them to stop. If they don’t then tell them you need some time to yourself and stick to it.
9) Be selective about dating events
There’s a lot of events that couples celebrate together, like their six month anniversary or meeting each other’s families. These events need to be spaced out and done at appropriate times otherwise you end up condensing the life-span of a relationship. Doing everything together as quickly as you can will speed up the break-up so don’t do this. Be selective about which dating events to celebrate and wait awhile if it’s the right thing to do.
10) Remember why you want to slow things down
Remembering why you want to slow things down can help you notice when you’re slipping back into old behaviours and give you a chance to stop doing that. You want your new relationship to be long-lasting and happy so when you start spending too much time together you need to pull away a little bit and remind yourself that what you’re doing is a good thing. If your partner complains about you being passive-aggressive you can tell them you love them and don’t want to ruin what you have with them.
She is working as writer for diferent websites. She has published many hand-books about adult dating and relationships.
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